In any relationship, don’t be a cheap person

I saw a question: Why do others dare to do bad things to you? Dare to be unscrupulous to you?

Gao Zan replied: Because you are too cheap, people feel that they can do bad things on you without paying any price.

Kindness has no measure, and it will appear humble.

Compromise without principle will encourage the evil of others.

In any relationship, the more you dig out your heart and lungs, the more you will increase the probability of not being cherished.

Don’t look down on yourself and don’t be a cheap person is the best way to get along in a relationship.

01

The writer has a very good friend in the evening.

When a friend quit his job and opened a shop, she visits almost every day, sometimes with her colleagues.

Usually, every once in a while, she advertises for her friends in the circle of friends to help her publicize.

Even if I can’t keep myself busy sometimes, I will take the time to help her promote and introduce her first.

I don’t want her to be better to her friend, the more her friend takes it for granted.

Every time we meet, my friends will ask her to help her introduce business, promote the activities in the store, and bombard her with WeChat whenever she has time.

And once the evening love said that she was busy, she felt that the other party was not enough sisters.

In this way, friends are pressing step by step, and the evening love is retreating step by step, and several times, the evening love has to put down what is in hand to help the friend.

Until one time, the evening stand was too busy, and she politely refused to her friend.

I didn’t want to do it this time, but my friend got angry and scolded her for being selfish, stingy, and unrighteous.

I felt cold at night, and I always felt that I had done enough, but in the end, I didn’t get a good word.

This is probably the most despicable side of human nature.

The better you treat a person, the less he takes you seriously.

The more you give unreservedly, the more brazenly he will take it.

And once you create a self with no bottom line, others will naturally lose respect for you.

02

We often say: Fighting rice breeds grace, and ascending rice breeds hatred.

In a relationship, the more you give, the more unappreciative and excessive the other person may become.

This is true for friends, and it is also true for relatives.

Writer Xiaobin told a story:

Duan Lin and his wife started a restaurant, had a good business, and bought two suites after having a certain amount of savings, one for themselves and one for their children’s wedding room.

When my sister heard about it, she thought about coming to her.

Duan Lin was very happy when she found out, and she was afraid that her sister-in-law and brother-in-law would not have a place to stay, so she gave them another house to live in for free.

Knowing that the two had no savings, she paid out of her own pocket to help her sister open a restaurant.

And handed over the business process and operation experience to the two sisters.

For more than ten years, as long as her sister’s family was in need, Duan Lin would lend a helping hand until she helped her sister’s family gain a firm foothold.

is unpredictable, Duan Lin’s wholehearted dedication did not win her sister’s gratitude, but aroused the ugliest side of human nature.

Duan Lin’s son graduated from college and was about to buy a house in Beijing, so she thought about selling the house she lent to her sister to make a down payment for her son.

Who knew that as soon as she brought it up, her sister was furious: “You can’t sell my house.” ”

And the brother-in-law even took a kitchen knife directly from the kitchen:

“Why did you sell our house, and whoever dared to sell our house, I would fight with whomever I wanted.”

Such a reversal of black and white and unreasonable made Duan Lin feel cold, and he couldn’t help but scold each other angrily.

In the end, the two sides scuffled together and almost went to the police station.

In this way, the original flesh and blood relatives have also become enemies.

There is a good saying: don’t spoil people who don’t know how to appreciate it, and don’t feed the heart that doesn’t know how to give back.

The human heart is greedy, and if it is overdone, great favor will turn into hatred.

In a relationship, giving and helping without reservation will eventually make each other the most familiar strangers.

No matter how strong and intimate the feelings are, they will disappear.

03

Su Qing, a writer of the Republic of China, is recognized as a talented woman.

But she also endured for half her life for her family and to please the people around her.

Su Qing followed her mother’s advice early on, got married and had children.

In order to take care of her family, she gave up her favorite reading and writing poems, and circled around pots and pans all day long.

In order to meet the expectations of her family, she gave birth to four children in five years of marriage, and lived with a big belly for most of the time.

Even if she was unwilling and unwilling in her heart, she still chose to endure and obey.

But this kind of practice, not only did not get the attention of the family, but was bullied by the husband’s family.

Her in-laws asked her to serve, the children asked her to take care of them, and all the housework in the house was left on her.

In addition, she had to endure verbal attacks and domestic violence from her husband.

But even so, Su Qing chose to endure silently.

Until one day, Su Qing found out that her husband had already betrayed her, and her in-laws were sarcastic and sarcastic behind her back.

Only then did she completely wake up and rise up to resist, she was no longer obedient to everything and forbearance everywhere, but divorced decisively, and never looked back no matter how the other party kept her.

She began to resume writing as a way to take back custody of her children and insisted that the other party pay child support.

And just as she changed her cowardice and became tough, her ex-husband saw her again and became respectful.

The others also changed their attitudes and no longer provoked her easily.

Bai Yansong said: Why do others don’t take you seriously more and more? It’s because you’re too stoic and talkative.

People are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden.

If forbearance can’t be exchanged for respect, then learn to show your blade.

Roses are thorny, not to prick people, but to protect themselves.

Make your attitude clear and find your bottom line, so that others will not dare to bully you easily.

There is a classic line in “The Godfather”:

“Soft-heartedness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; Unprincipled kindness will only make the other person do whatever he wants. ”

In any relationship, don’t let yourself be underpriced.

Your giving, your kindness, can be without a price tag, but it must not be cheap.

A truly chic life doesn’t have to please anyone.

Retain your edge, not be soft when you should refuse, and not give in when you should stick to it.

To be an angular person, you can live freely, happily, comfortably and freely.