Summary

The article reflects on historical challenges the U.S. has overcome and encourages resilience and humor in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic and the 2020 toilet paper shortage, while also promoting a collaborative writing publication.

Abstract

The author of the article takes a historical perspective, reminding readers of past adversities such as the 1973 Middle East war, OPEC's oil embargo, slavery, the Civil War, and the Spanish Flu, among others, to convey that the current challenges, including the COVID-19 pandemic and the toilet paper shortage, are surmountable. The piece suggests that panic is unnecessary and that Americans have endured and triumphed over greater hardships. It emphasizes the importance of laughter and community during trying times, citing scientific evidence that humor can reduce stress and boost the immune system. The article also serves as a call to action for writers to join a collaborative writing publication, "Out of Ideas, Out of Time," which is presented as an outlet for creative expression in the midst of the pandemic's restrictions.

Opinions

The author believes that panic is an unproductive response to the current crisis, advocating instead for resilience and community support.
There is an underlying tone of skepticism towards those who have contributed to the toilet paper shortage through panic-buying and hoarding.
The article promotes the benefits of laughter and humor as a means to cope with stress during the pandemic, citing research on the health benefits of laughter.
The author values collaborative efforts, particularly in writing, as a way to overcome creative blocks and share stories during isolation.
There is a sense of humor in the author's approach to the situation, as evidenced by the light-hearted jabs at the toilet paper shortage and the mention of "Glitter Rock" as a humorous historical event.
The piece encourages a scientific approach to dealing with the pandemic, suggesting that following health guidelines and maintaining a strong immune system are key strategies.
The author sees the pandemic as an opportunity for writers to come together and create, rather than a time to feel isolated and unproductive.

In a World Where Agent Orange and COVID-19 Compete to be the Most Dangerous, “Don’t Panic.”

That is our message as we discover the real reason behind the toilet paper shortage of 2020.

Digital illustration and photography by Author

As you read this, I am climbing on top of my roof so I can hysterically scream “Don’t Panic!”

In 1973, the ashes were still burning from a war in the Middle East that threatened to escalate the Cold War into a nuclear apocalypse.

OPEC created an oil embargo that caused massive lines at the gas station and almost brought our economy to a standstill.

And yet, we survived.

America, we’ve been through worse.

Slavery.

The Civil War.

Out-of-control billionaire Robber Barons (that one may still not be over).

The Spanish Flu.

The Great Depression.

The fight against fascism (okay, that one is definitely not over).

World War II.

The Cold War.

Glitter Rock (Thank God, that one is over.)

Are we going to let a little toilet paper crisis bring us to our knees?

Rise up, open your doors briefly and shout through your surgical masks so the world knows your resolve!

As we hunker down in our sanitized bunkers and ingest massive quantities of vitamin B₁₂, C, and zinc, remember that laughter is the best medicine.

Well, during a pandemic, it might not be the best medicine, but it’s still helpful.

For those of us who still believe in science, laughter has been proven to reduce stress, boost the T-cells of your immune system and work your abs.

7 Health Benefits of Laughter

There is so much to love about laughter that it seems greedy to look for more, but that's exactly what researchers Dr…

www.gaiam.com

And with gyms, hiking trails and parks closed, we need any exercise we can get.

Look deep into your heart and ask yourself one simple question…

“Is the problem really a toilet paper shortage or a physics-defying, never-seen-before SURPLUS of shit created by one asshole?”

I just watched this coronavirus public service message from Honest Government on the dangers of dumbfuckery,

If you haven’t seen it, it’s fantastic.

Even if they don’t supply English subtitles. (Damn those munted Aussie bastards.)

I wrote this screed before I viewed the video because I don’t follow twitter, watch many non-basketball-related YouTube videos, or have friends texting me the latest-trending stuff.

My late entry into the subject may have something to do with the fact that I have 5,651,987 fewer views and counting.

Or the lack of a young attractive spokesperson.

Or the lack of slick video production values.

Or the lack of funny material.

Oh well, that’s how I roll on MuddyUm.

Stay safe and keep laughing.

One final, desperate cry for help…

Fellow writers, do you ever feel like you’re out of ideas and out of time? Well, we’ve turned that all-too-common feeling into a publication for collaborative writing.

Out of Ideas, Out of Time

A place where collaborative stories go to lose momentum and disappear in a tiny dust devil in the middle of the desert.

medium.com

We’re looking for new writers to join us.

If you’re a fan of film noir parody, humor and private investigators who eat too many Coney dogs, this could be the place for you.

And it’s not like you’ve got somewhere to go, right?

Why waste the effort of writing one good chapter of a book you can’t finish when you can simply reach for the rope and tag team in another writer to continue the story?

If you want to give it shot, sign up here:

Sign up for the Toilet Paper Caper

The World Needs a Hero

medium.com

We’ll add you as a writer.

Don’t be shy, and above all…

Zarina Dara Adam, Diabetic Cyborg Susan Brearley Kyrie Gray Bebe Nicholson