Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of trusting one's instincts and creating personal life "maps" rather than relying on external influences and societal norms.

Abstract

The article reflects on the human tendency to conform to group behaviors, often neglecting personal instincts and beliefs. It draws on a fable to illustrate how individuals look to others for cues, even when it comes to personal choices like diet. The author, drawing from personal experience and referencing works like Scott M Peck's "The Road Less Travelled" and Anna Murphy's insights, encourages readers to reassess and update their personal "maps" as they age and gain wisdom. The piece advocates for self-reliance in decision-making, suggesting that one's own body and gut feelings are more reliable guides than external experts or trends, especially in the context of a society bombarded by a cacophony of opinions and marketing messages.

Opinions

The author suggests that people often suppress their instincts to conform to social expectations, as seen in the fable about teenagers and their host's mother.
It is noted that while following others can be a natural survival instinct, especially in youth, it becomes problematic when individuals fail to update their beliefs and behaviors as they mature.
The author points out the irony in the wellness industry's influence, implying that its guidance may not always align with personal needs and that individuals should be their own guides.
The article criticizes the over-reliance on external sources like nutritionists or coaches for basic life decisions, advocating for self-trust and internal guidance.
A personal anecdote from the author reveals a transformation in their relationship with food, moving away from societal standards to a more intuitive approach.
The author encourages readers to be "cartographers" of their own lives, creating vision boards as a metaphor for personal direction and growth.
The piece emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with

In a World of Noise, Find Your Inner Compass

A Call to Rediscover Your Own Guidance

There’s a fable around a group of teenagers hanging out at someone’s house. They’re watching tv when the host’s mum walks in and asks if anyone wants a snack. The girls are looking at each other, watching what everyone else is doing, eventually the ringleader says yes, she would like something to eat please. At which point all the other girls in the room murmur agreement.

Whether this is true or not, I’d imagine that many of us can relate.

When did we learn that it wasn’t safe to trust our instincts?

In this book, The Road Less Travelled, psychiatrist Scott M Peck talks about the notion of humans as map makers. When we are young, we are constantly creating maps as we discover the world. However, many of these maps are based on the opinions and actions of those around us.

This is our first foray into the world and our basic instinct of survival tells us to copy what everyone around us is doing. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The problem occurs when we don’t redraw our maps as we get older and know more. Author, Anna Murphy cautions us about this:

“Most people as they age get slower at making maps, and many come close to stopping. They just keep on using the old ones, whether they are still relevant or not.”

I had my own wake-up call about following other people’s maps in mid-2020. There were many awful tragedies to the pandemic but for me, being away from external influences was a blessing.

My first realisation was around food — having gone to an all-girls school (I was doing the Special K “diet” at 15), I had a bizarre relationship with food from a young age. This then intensified through my early twenties when I worked in fashion — yes, Emily Blunt’s character only eating a small piece of cheese a day really isn’t too far off the mark.

I’d done Weight Watchers, Keto, Macro counting, MyFitness Pal. I’d worked with a (very expensive) nutritionist. All of these to tell me one of the most basic elements — how to eat.

How had I gotten to a place where I needed to watch other people before I could decide how to nourish myself?

When did I stop looking inside for the answers and start relying on outside influences?

When did I stop making my own maps?

I’d hazard a guess, given the booming “wellness” industry, that I’m not alone. It might seem a little counterintuitive — a coach telling you not to use a coach, but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

You don’t need a nutritionist to tell you how to eat — ask your body. You don’t need a coach to help you make decisions — ask your gut. And please, be your own cartographer.

I make a vision board every year — which is my own map Every year there is a small piece of a map on the board. A gentle reminder to myself to ensure that I’ve not gone off course, that I’m not accidentally following someone else’s route.

It’s easy to follow someone else’s map, especially if we’ve never realised that we can make our own. We’ve inadvertently outsourced our route-finding. And we must be kind to ourselves about this. We are fighting a billion-dollar global marketing industry that is super keen to tell us what we “want”.

But we must take back our power.

This reminds me of one of my favourite Dr Seuss quotes:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”

We must decide on the direction.

How do you know if you’re following other people’s maps? If you feel distanced from your life, as if it’s not really yours. If you’re canvassing for opinions on every decision you need to make.

And how to reconnect with your inner compass?

Try getting quiet. Get into nature. Get your toes on the grass. And listen for your body to whisper the answer to you. You might have to do this more than once. However, running an internal check-in helps.

Start small — when deciding what you want for dinner or what you want to watch on television. Do the decisions feel authentic to you or are you just making them for the people around you? If not, CHOOSE AGAIN — in the words of Dr Seuss, steer yourself in the direction of your choice.