In a recently discovered email, the Food and Drug Administration, FDA, has contacted the Bromas drug cartel to hasten the COVID-19 vaccine shipments.
Danny Ruger, an FDA spokesperson, gave this brief, “For years, we have fought this endless war on drugs, yet we watched the cartels become richer and more powerful. The creativity of their distribution networks is pure genius. Using their distribution chains, we will get the vaccine to the people who need it most. Even now, we are training street-level pushers on how to administer the vaccine safely.”
When asked how the cartel will meet the stringent shipping standards required for the vaccine, such as extreme sub-zero temperatures, Ruger replied, “A company in New Mexico has provided supercharged refrigerated trucks used to transport chicken.”
— Marcy Mapplethorpe, the Whole Toad News Service.
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