In A Land Far, Far Away…

Fantasy Fiction This or That Challenge

When I was a little person, I enjoyed a good fairy tale or two. From time to time, I altered endings, especially when I was around seven or eight years old. That was when I decided Cinderella needed to add cayenne pepper to her stepsisters’ breakfasts and knock all the heels off their shoes.

Those “bugly itches” deserved some take-downs.

I also wanted Alice (in Wonderland) to get put in a corner for being such a whiner. Again, this was when I was pretty little. In high school I had to read the actual books, not the Disney versions, as a lesson in British Literature and the art of satire. I still wanted Alice to stop sniveling. But understanding the satire was enlightening, and still pretty timely — which is sad, don’t you think?

I was dumbfounded by a world where repeatedly calling your baby a pig could turn it into a literal pig — dumbfounded and frightened, frankly. If nothing else, reading that scene colored all my future interactions with children. No name-calling. No one was ever allowed to call each other stupid in my house. It DOES mean something.

Too bad I didn’t learn that lesson sooner — before I called my sister a name. She’s never forgotten it, and I am SO DAMNED SORRY. (We were little kids, but that doesn’t matter. I was a bad sister. Sorry, M.)

I have been known to write a little fantasy from time to time, although I’m more likely to write other genres.

This challenge by Jacinta Palmer really appeals to me:

I’m going to take pen and quill and get started on these questions!

(Okay, I’m using a keyboard — and my imagination is turning it into pen and quill. That’s what imagination is for!)

1. Dystopian or Enchanted — I write a lot of Dystopian fiction. Penny is bugging me to get on with it and finish her latest series. I should do that soon. But for some reason, I’m leaning toward Enchanted this afternoon. I’m feeling the need for some magic!
2. Vampire or Dragon — Since Twilight made its horrifying debut, I have been disenchanted by Vampires. Just kidding. Sparkly vampires are a horror all their own, but I don’t consider them relevant to this, or any, vampire-centric question. My first brush with vampires was Barnabas Collins in the old gothic soap opera Dark Shadows. He terrified me. He amused me. He intrigued me. I slept with a glow-in-the-dark plastic crucifix on my chest for about a year to ward off the creature of the night. I can laugh at myself for that now — I was in first grade, gimme a break. But the fear was real, I tell you. Vampires for me!
3. Sword or Bolt of Fire from your Fingers — I have arthritis in my wrists, so I’d likely drop my sword at an inopportune moment and end up dead. I’ll take the Bolt of Fire and give myself a fighting chance.
4. Mind Reading or Crystal Ball — I don’t want to read minds. My brain is constantly chattering at me day and night already, and I don’t need any more voices in there mixing things up. I’ll take the Crystal Ball. I can always throw a scarf over it when I want it to shut up.
5. Broomstick or Winged Creature — Riding a broomstick looks bloody uncomfortable. A Thestral looks pretty uncomfortable, too, though. A dragon could proove spikey and lethal. Can I have a hippogriff? I’d like flying around on one of those Winged Creatures!
6. Runes or Tarot Cards — Oh, dear me. Has anyone seen Stephen King’s Storm of the Century? Using a bag of runes to choose the fate of the one or the many was nerve wracking. Here’s a little tale — when this mini-series came out on ABC, I had cancelled our television services because we were still recovering from losses in a fire and I just couldn’t afford the bill. So my father recorded it for me. He was sworn to silence regarding the plot, and nearly burst from holding it all in until I could watch the whole thing. Then he confessed how pissed off the ending made him even while admitting he didn’t know how it could have gone any other way. So Runes hits a nerve. But I know darn well if I had Tarot Cards, I’d lose one or two along the way and the deck would be useless, so I’m still choosing Runes.
7. Under an Oath or Stolen Memories — I’m going to choose Under an Oath, because sometimes the oath is terrible and the quest to find an oathbreaker can be quite the adventure.
8. Rainbow or Waterfall — Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Little bluebirds fly over, but do they find Oz? I think I’m going to go with Waterfall. There could be an enchanted door behind that falling water, and it could open up into…anywhere.
9. Enchanted Object or Cursed Object — Who’s to say that the Enchanted Object isn’t actually a curse of some kind? It might be good, but…is it really? What’s the cost of the good part? Is there a dark side? I think I’m going to go with Cursed Object. It’s straightforward. You know there’s a curse, and possibly a way to escape it. The enchanted object is a mystery.
10. Seer or Warlock — A Seer is only half-way useful. So what if he can tell you a plague is coming? Can he do anything about it? I want a Warlock, one talented enough to get the scoop on the plague and concoct a cure.
11. Dungeon or Banishment — In spite of it sounding scary and punishing and uncomfortable, I’d prefer a Dungeon because it offers a chance of escape or release or redemption. Banishment — you’re gone forever, dude.
12. Soul Sucking or Demon Torment — Again, a chance for escape, release or redemption, even if you are Tormented by a Demon. Soul Sucking is final. You’re gone forever, dude.
13. Portal or Time Travel — I have been saying this for years — I want a Portal. I want to be able to get from here to there in six simple steps. Walk through, and you’ve arrived. Get everything done in one day. Time Travel is an invitation to disaster. One wrong move and you destroy worlds. Try to undo one bad thing, create a hundred more even worse things. Don’t mess with time.
14. Undiscovered or Forgotten — Oh, jeez, I forget things all the time. Never the right things, either. I’m choosing Undiscovered. It could be a new island, or a stairway leading to a gigantic library, or…you get the drift, Discovery is good.
15. Enchanted to Sleep or Cursed to Ride — Somebody, please Enchant me to Sleep. I love sleep, and I never get enough. Sometimes I get none. Enchant me to an uninterrupted eight hours every single night. Thank you.
16. Diary or Grimoire — A Diary is a place to record your thoughts and the events of your day. A Grimoire is much the same, but with the added power to help you make your day better. Make it rain and reverse the drought that will make fire season a nightmare. Grow back the depleted rainforests. Put all the bad guys behind bars. Yeah, I choose Grimoire.
17. Kraken or Mermaid — “Release the Kraken!” No, please don’t. Well, if I am the Kraken, yes, please do release me. No, wait. So…is it Ariel, who doesn’t even want to be a Mermaid? Or is it some evil Siren, waiting to lure the sailors to their death? This is hard! Either way, I personally swim like a rock, so I’m dead meat. Okay, Mermaid.
18. Haunted or Re-programmed — Holy computer chip, I don’t want to be re-programmed. Unless the only change is to my metabolism. I wouldn’t mind some fat-burning. But I have to assume it’s a brain change, and I might become a serial killer or something, so I’ll take Haunted. Ghosts haven’t harmed me so far, and they can be very interesting.
19. Historical or Future — I still don’t want to mess with time, and this could be a problem either way I choose. Well, no going back. That’s more problematic. I’ll choose Future.
20. This World or Another Realm — I’m here every day. I’ll choose Another Realm. New and different would be more interesting.

Well, that was a fun one! Everyone reading, jump in and play. Tag me so I see your answers.

Here’s some mermaids for ya:

A collage of my mermaid artwork I made for my sister once upon a time.

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Thanks for taking the time to read. I really appreciate you!