Improvement Should Be The Only Barometer Of Success
Measure Yourself Against Yourself
We spend so much of our lives concerned with the abilities of others. “Did you see the offer he got?” “Do you see how crazy her GPA is?”. I’ve said something along these lines at least a 100 times in my life.
It’s natural to compare. The way society is shaped today and the way our education system is setup in particular encourages this. From a young age our barometer of success is a number in GPA or Standardized Test Scores. Of course, we’re going to compare. It’s a number. It’s natural instinct to quickly see how we did compared to others, especially when our score is so conveniently shown in percentile ranks.
Now I’m not saying we have to tear down or restructure our entire education system. It’s still great overall and I’m in no position to be suggesting any changes and don’t have some breath taking alternative on my mind at the moment.
What I am saying is that we often get conditioned into comparing ourselves to others. There’s such a set standard that we need to live up to, that we feel like it’s the only way. This in turn leads to us comparing ourselves with our peers. And this never ends well.
Even if you’re killing it in school or career, there’s always going to be that one genius. And that’s if you’re the top 1%. If you’re the average Joe like me, there’s plenty of people outperforming you by the traditional standards for success that society has set in education and career.
This used to make me feel like shit. There’d always be someone beating me in exams in school, there was always someone who had a better internship offer. As I reached the end of my undergraduate degree a few years ago I had a small yet key mindset change.
It didn’t happen overnight, but I slowly realized I was never ever going to be happy if I kept thinking of others. I had to set my own goals for myself and for no one else. I had to set my standards for success and improvement, no one else would dictate that for me.
I enforced this, day in and day out. Every month I would do quick checks on myself. How much more did I know this month compared to last month? This became a routine for me through school and into my career. I didn’t magically stop caring or being curious in how other people were doing, but I always shifted my focus back to myself.
My definition of success was fully based off of my own improvement.
It’s a simple yet crucial message, like most things I write about. Forget success, happiness in general cannot be achieved if we forever drown ourselves with comparisons or obsession with others and how they’re doing in life. Focus on yourself, recognize your weaknesses, acknowledge areas where you can grow, and put the work in to improve upon those areas.
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