How to Give Your Future Self a Better Life
Your future self can help you achieve your goals and focus on what you really want
I was still shrouded in the soft blanket of half-sleep when I walked into the kitchen for my first cup of coffee. I instantly realized that last night I had completely forgotten to care for my future self.
I entered a kitchen in disarray — dishes in the sink, clutter on the counter, my desk piled with unruly stacks of magazines and papers, and an item balancing precariously on the pile that needs to be returned to the store.
In my vulnerable, groggy-headed state, this hit me like cold water in the face. I was jarred out of my cozy fog into the stark realities of a day already filled with responsibilities, aggravations, to-do lists. I was not quite ready to face all this, but here it was being shoved at me, ready or not.
I read about the concept of our “future self” a while back and it made a lot of sense to me. I have always cleaned my house from top to bottom before a trip so that my future self could walk into a clean house upon return. I was already caring for my future self and didn’t even realize it.
What I had not thought of was the benefit of considering my future self in my everyday routine. I realized that I was not considering how my future self feels about facing the things I was putting off, ignoring or just too lazy to do. I began to think about the ways I could make life easier, and sweeter, for my future self.
When I acknowledged my future self it was easier to begin to plan for her comfort, happiness and fulfillment. If your future self is constantly putting out fires that you are leaving for them to handle, maybe you could benefit from thinking about how you can make life better for both of you.
Everything we do is either a gift to our future selves, or a way of shortchanging them. Think about how grateful your future self would be if you would think a little more about them, and support them to have the life they deserve.
When we set goals for ourselves, many times we fail to connect with our future selves and hold them in our minds as we are pursuing those goals. A true mental connection to that person you will be tomorrow, next year and 25 years from now will help you stay focused as you work toward the life you desire.
Considering what your future self needs is as easy as asking a few questions.
1. What is a daily irritant that you could handle so that your future self no longer has to deal with it?
Is it waking up to dirty dishes in the sink?
Is it that broken toy that’s been laying in the driveway for a month?
Is it the unanswered e-mails, or stack of bills, or the clutter that is gathering on all the surfaces?
Whatever it is, think about how good it will feel to your future self if you just go ahead and take care of it now.
2. What about your far- into- the- future self?
Think about what you want that future self to be experiencing. How do you want to be living when you are 50, 60, 70 or older?
If you are very young, this may seem like a lifetime away, but believe me, life waits for no one and your future “old” self will be inhabiting your life before you know it. What can you do now that would serve that future self?
If you want to be healthy into your old age, now is the time to start. Can you make some promises to that future “old” self and start now to make sure they have the life you want for them?
Is there a dream that you have been harboring that you could start on now so that your future self will have no regrets?
It is never to soon to start creating the life you want your future self to live.
3. If you are not sure what your future self really wants from you, sit down and write a letter to yourself from your future self.
What do they wish you had done?
How do they wish you had been more conscious of their existence?
What ways do they want you to make some plans for them so they will have the life they, and you, want them to have?
If all this seems a little far-fetched to you, think about all the things you already do for your future self.
You brush your teeth everyday so your future self will not have cavities and have to pay for expensive dental work.
You pay your taxes and renew your car tag so your future self won’t get in trouble with the law, and maybe get hit with big fines.
You stock the kitchen with groceries so your future self will have the ingredients to make a sandwich or a pot of soup.
You do the laundry so your future self will have clean clothes to wear.
You line up your work for the following day so your future self can walk into the office and get started.
It seems that a lot of what we are doing in our daily lives is thinking about our future self.
If your future self (like my future self) does not want to be smacked in the face first thing in the morning by chaos, then it is the kind thing to do to spend a few minutes creating some order in your kitchen and on your desk before you go to bed.
The reason I woke up this morning to a mess is that last night I told myself I was too tired and I would get to it in the morning. I did not consider how my future self would feel having to face that mess before the first cup of coffee.
I know that my future self very much wants to start the day gently, with a feeling of calm and quiet. It is important that I have a margin to my day that allows me to start slowly, easing into the day with gratitude.
This feels very much like self-care, and if I can remember this, it will be easier to nudge my present self into doing the small things that will make a difference to my future self, even when I am tired.
Treat your future self like an honored — and anticipated — guest in our own life. Remember that the things you do now are a gift to the future you. Your future self will be grateful you were thinking of them. And they will thank you for the beautiful life you have given them.