Summary

Imposter Syndrome is a pervasive aspect of the human condition, reflecting deep-seated shame and fear of inadequacy, which paradoxically offers an opportunity for personal growth and authenticity.

Abstract

The concept of Imposter Syndrome, as explored by Michael, is not merely a psychological hurdle but a fundamental part of being human. It encompasses the internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite one's achievements, and is experienced by individuals regardless of their success or expertise. This phenomenon is exemplified by the late Maya Angelou, who, despite her accomplishments, still grappled with self-doubt. The article suggests that Imposter Syndrome stems from a fear of hurt and rejection, and it manifests as the "false self" that tries to shield one from future pain. The root cause of this syndrome is identified as shame, which Brené Brown describes as the belief in one's unworthiness of love and belonging. Rather than viewing Imposter Syndrome as a problem to be solved, the article encourages readers to understand, accept, and embrace it as an integral part of oneself. This approach promises a more fulfilling life, free from the constant pressure to succeed and the fear of being unmasked as an imposter. By reconciling with the Imposter within, individuals can live more authentically, with the freedom and vulnerability of a whole human being.

Opinions

Imposter Syndrome is not a sign of personal failing but a common human experience, affecting even highly successful people like Maya Angelou.
The voice of the Imposter is an amalgamation of our deepest fears and insecurities, rooted in past experiences of hurt and rejection.
Attempts to suppress or ignore the Imposter are futile, as it is an intrinsic part of our identity, a "mixed bag" of our strengths and weaknesses.
The Imposter's presence is not an obstacle to success but an invitation to engage in a deeper, more spiritual exploration of self-acceptance and unconditional love.
The process of understanding, accepting, and embracing the Imposter is transformative, leading to a sense of freedom and the ability to live authentically.
Success and external validation do not quell the Imposter; instead, genuine contentment comes from making peace with all aspects of oneself.
True spirituality involves offering love and belonging to the darkest parts of ourselves, which is where the Imposter resides.
Embracing the Imposter allows individuals to move beyond the need for external validation and to live with the unpretentiousness and joy of a child.

Imposter Syndrome Is Not What You Think

Understanding the false self and finding the freedom to live.

In How I Learned to Overcome Imposter Syndrome (and How You Can, Too), Ayodeji Awosika shares what Imposter Syndrome sounds like inside his head:

“Why would anyone pay you? You don’t know what you’re doing.” “Where are your credentials? Who do you think you are to try to help and teach? You barely have it together man.” “If only they knew who you really were, they’d run the other way.”

Whether or not you’re familiar with the term, I think you’ve probably felt what Ayodeji felt. I know I have. I even feel it when I’m writing an article like this. It’s a common experience that doesn’t seem to change based on your level of success or knowledge. Even Maya Angelou, the celebrated, wildly successful American author said this about herself:

I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.

We spend much of our lives ignoring the source of this voice.

We try to meditate it out of our heads and drown it out with Netflix. We try to succeed it away, but it doesn't leave for long. It doesn’t go away because… it’s us. Imposter Syndrome is just another name for the Human Condition, my brand of it is called, Michael.

We‘re a mixed bag, and the Imposter is a part of us.

You might be successful, know what you’re talking about, and be the foremost expert on a subject. But that’s not all you are. You’re your good stuff and your bad stuff. You’re your character flaws and the pain you’ve been dealt. At times, you’re insecure, compensating, and worried. You’re a mixed bag. We all are.

Maybe you’ve shared your gifts with the world and been given a stage. Maybe you’ve felt the highs of success and realized potential. Maybe you’re Maya Angelou, the celebrated author. But you’re not only that, and the Imposter knows it.

The Imposter is telling its truth.

It’s a truth rooted in the deepest, saddest experiences of your life. In its fear of being hurt, rejected, and abandoned again, the Imposter yells out to protect itself. And it sounds something like this:

“If only they knew who you really were, they’d run the other way.”

Imposter Syndrome is not the enemy of your success. It’s just the you that fears being hurt again. Brennan Manning, the late author and Franciscan priest, wrote about the Imposter in his classic book, Abba’s Child. In summarizing Manning’s understanding of the Imposter, Dr. Paul Ellis writes:

The imposter is the false self that grows out of rejection and abandonment. It is the image we make of ourselves to shield us from future hurt.

It’s not a character defect to improve.

At its core, the syndrome isn’t about self-doubt, lack of confidence, or questioning your ability. These are just the symptoms of the real syndrome, a universal disease felt in different degrees: shame. Brené Brown, well known for her writing, research, and her viral TED talk about the power of vulnerability, defines shame as:

The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging — something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.

It’s a terrible and painful gift.

What we call a syndrome is actually a gift — an opportunity to live a fuller and freer life. It’s a mistake to treat the Imposter like it’s a problem to be solved so that our success is not sabotaged. Reaching that success while the Imposter remains pushed down will not bring lasting happiness. The painful voice we’re trying to ignore, push aside, and manage is actually an invitation to come home to ourselves, and in doing so, find what we’re looking for.

Find the freedom to live.

The Imposter’s voice doesn’t have to control you. It doesn’t have to make you freeze up or fail before you start. In fact, it can free you.

We’ll never be able to look at our life in its entirety and breathe a long, deep, restful breath of contentment without first making peace with the Imposter.

The Imposter was just scared all along — a child in adult armour firing arrows at all your attempts to live. Making life about knowledge and success and comparison. So much worry, so little peace. So much suffering, so little substance. So much fear, so little love.

So next time you hear the Imposter’s voice, don’t fight it or ignore it. Understand it, accept it, and embrace it.

Understand it: What’s below the angsty voice that calls you fake? What is it scared of? Seek to understand it.

Accept it: This is you. You are a mixed bag — the good and the bad. And this is the part in touch with all the bad. Remember, it’s just a child scared of being rejected. So even while its voice of accusation rings in your ears, accept it and you will begin to calm its fears.

Embrace it: It’s not a syndrome to fix, because you’re not a syndrome to fix. It’s a person to love and embrace. So pull it close and welcome it home, invite it to the table of you. Become yourself — the successful parts and the pathetic parts. Go forward in the vulnerability of being a whole human being.

The place where we meet with the Imposter — where we work to understand, accept, and embrace it — is the place called spirituality. It’s during this work that we find out if our spirituality is genuine enough to do the work of offering unconditional love, acceptance, and belonging to the deepest, darkest you.

After we meet and make peace with our Imposter, his voice holds less and less power. We no longer need to be impressive and we need not earn our right to be heard. We live in the freedom of children fully alive because children aren’t very impressive and yet they still deserve a voice. They deserve the chance to try new things and get them wrong. They deserve to live.

So what about you? Can you just be a child whose job is to shoot for the stars and to have fun falling short? Can you just live? Can you just be that mixed bag? Can you just be the great author who’s sometimes just not so sure of herself? Can you just be all of you?

What we’ve called Imposter Syndrome is a gift. It’s the you that hid away long ago in shame and who only comes out to protect you from more pain and rejection. It’s not in the way of life, it’s the door to life. So next time you hear its voice, smile. Understand it, accept it, embrace it, and move forward in the freedom of a child fully alive.

Hi, I’m Michael. Thanks for reading this article! It represents day 18 of my current 30-day writing project. If you enjoyed it, you may also like to read this article I wrote: What a CrossFit Injury Taught Me About My Thought Life.