Imposter Syndrome After a Promotion

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Abstract

on as I say those words.New jobs are a tricky proposition for me for the same reasons as promotions are. While I am usually excited and proud of myself for landing a new job, I also get a sense of foreboding joy. Dr. Brené Brown’s definition of <a href="https://psychcentral.com/health/when-joy-feels-scary-resilience-building-practices#what-is-it">foreboding joy</a> is “that moment when joy is interrupted by thoughts of ‘but what if something bad happens’ ”. This happened to me the last time I landed a new job at a new company. I felt apprehension that things were going so well. Is it really true? They seem to really like me. What if they meet me in person and I don’t meet their expectations? Will I like the team? Will we get along? Those were the thoughts swirling around in my head in the midst of the excitement. The unknown caused some fear and apprehension.The apprehension could get to an over-the-top level. I worried about whether I could complete assignments on time and the new people I would meet. I got so anxious that my anxiety started to affect my sleep; I sometimes lost 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night. I worried about my productivity the next day which made my insomnia worse. I worked with my therapist to re-frame the anxious thoughts. I told myself that even if I lost a couple of hours of sleep, I could still make it through the day with the help of some coffee. Thus, I didn’t need to stress about it. I also told myself that I am a capable person and always have the option of asking for help if I felt confused about an assignment. That took some of the fear out of the unknown.The support system makes a big difference in how <a href="https://jennifersinparis.medium.com/creating-a-happy-home-2789cb533906?sk=e0c1b4ddd4ca951108394a42976b1508">transitions</a> go for me. I find it is important to have regular check-ins with my manager when I take on new responsibilities to see how things are going. When I get feedback on my performance, I know where I stand. It is in the absence of feedback and guidance that my thoughts run wild and I wonder if I did something wrong. In addition, praise, recognition, and words of encouragement are great motivators. I am encouraged to try and work hard when I see that my manager notices. When I don’t feel supported, I tend to lose productivity and interest.Here’s what happened in one job where I didn’t feel supported. I was striving for a promotion for months. I let my manager know that I thought I deserved one. They supported me but cautioned that it would take a long time to get through the company’s promotion process. I was given forms to fill out to prove that I was working and delivering at the next level and justify that I should be promoted. I filled them out diligently and even reviewed them with my manager and mentor to ensure they were well done. I gave all my material to my manager and followed up with them every month to see what the status was. My manager told me they’d bring it up with upper management.Months went by and all I heard was “not yet.” At one point, my manager told me that there was likely no budget for me to move to the next level and that I’d need to wait until next year. That message was demoralizing. It sent me the message “we don’t recognize your hard work,” which made me wonder why I would try hard in my job if I knew that I would not be

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recognized or compensated for it. I quietly promised myself that I was not going to wait another year. I continued to follow up with my manager and advocate for myself. Luckily, the promotion did come a few months later. I was satisfied with it, yet exasperated at the effort it took.In a different job, I had the exact opposite experience. When I shared that I had goals to be promoted, upper management was fully supportive and made the effort to help me achieve those goals. I volunteered for learning opportunities and was given them. I was supported in taking on additional responsibilities and compensated for them. My managers checked in on me and my workload to ensure I didn’t burn out. I had such a great feeling when people at work had my back and were proactive about developing employees. In this work environment, the message I received was: “Your hard work is recognized. We are compensating you for your efforts and additional responsibilities. We want you to keep up the great work!”Because of imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence at the beginning of my career, I felt awkward showing vulnerability to others. I was afraid to take risks on new responsibilities and positions in case I made mistakes and failed. I would only go for opportunities when my success was almost guaranteed. However, the types of opportunities that fell into this category tended to be short-term projects with little impact. I was not entirely satisfied with them. I was also afraid that if my manager championed me for a new job and I didn’t do well, I would disappoint my manager. Sadly, I didn’t feel I was someone worth investing in, even as I enviously watched others get groomed for leadership positions. I watched as my colleagues were offered exclusive training opportunities and placed on the fast track to leadership positions and wondered why I wasn’t in the club.I figured out recently that I needed to be vulnerable with my managers and directors if I wanted them to take a chance on me. I had to accept that they would be part of my journey and that they would inevitably see me succeed as well as face setbacks. The setbacks weren’t necessarily things I needed to be embarrassed about and could be due to uncontrollable factors like budget cuts or market issues. I learned to accept that others would be intimately familiar with my journey and they would support me. My managers offered me a safe space to practice new skills and take on new responsibilities. They gave me candid feedback. I felt I could bring my authentic self to work.I may not be able to get rid of imposter syndrome entirely. After all, it can get triggered by new situations and responsibilities as I progress in my career. I expect imposter syndrome may pop up with every new promotion and upgrade in job status that I get. However, being aware of its presence, especially the negative self-talk that kicks in, is one of the best ways to combat this affliction. I think being able to overcome the debilitating effects of imposter syndrome will open doors for me and allow me to progress further in my career than ever before. I will be less hesitant to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves and be able to deal with the foreboding joy that might set in when I obtain new opportunities. I think that will bring me increased personal fulfillment and satisfaction at work.</article></body>

Promotions can bring on feelings of imposter syndrome and foreboding joy

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov

Getting promoted is a tricky proposition for me. On one hand, I am elated that my hard work is recognized and I am earning more money. On the other hand, shortly after my promotion I start developing imposter syndrome and wonder if I can handle the new assignments and responsibilities being handed to me. I felt that I had to constantly sustain my success or else I would be a failure. People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held, according to Psychology Today. I have found that having a supportive work environment makes such a big difference in how I handle the transition and whether it is a fulfilling and challenging experience for me or whether it is a journey of fear and uncertainty.

In one job, I received a promotion and soon afterward felt imposter syndrome start to take over. The internal self-talk I experienced was undermining my confidence: I have more responsibilities now so the risks are greater. What if I can’t handle what they throw at me? What if I don’t know how to complete a new type of assignment? I neglected to recognize that I was given the promotion in the first place because I had proved that I could and am operating at the next level. My bosses already believed in me; thus, I didn’t need to fixate on proving myself over and over again. I needed to change my self-talk from negative to positive. Some new things I told myself were:

I was given this opportunity because I proved to my manager I can do it.

This is an opportunity for me to learn and grow.

I am more capable and knowledgeable than I think.

I can do this! I believe in myself!

I also had to work on updating my notion of myself. Previously, I had always thought of myself as an early career or junior employee. With the promotion, I was going from a junior employee to a senior employee. I needed to get used to the idea that I was a senior (however, I still remained one of the youngest employees on my team). One thing that helped me with this is mentoring more junior employees or interns. When I started teaching someone else the ropes, I realized how much I had learned and discovered my “inner expert.” I was able to dispel some of my fraudulent feelings and develop my confidence. In addition, speaking positive affirmations like “I can do this!” out loud and to myself in front of the mirror are great methods to help build confidence. There is something powerful about hearing my own voice validating my accomplishments, and seeing my reflection as I say those words.

New jobs are a tricky proposition for me for the same reasons as promotions are. While I am usually excited and proud of myself for landing a new job, I also get a sense of foreboding joy. Dr. Brené Brown’s definition of foreboding joy is “that moment when joy is interrupted by thoughts of ‘but what if something bad happens’ ”. This happened to me the last time I landed a new job at a new company. I felt apprehension that things were going so well. Is it really true? They seem to really like me. What if they meet me in person and I don’t meet their expectations? Will I like the team? Will we get along? Those were the thoughts swirling around in my head in the midst of the excitement. The unknown caused some fear and apprehension.

The apprehension could get to an over-the-top level. I worried about whether I could complete assignments on time and the new people I would meet. I got so anxious that my anxiety started to affect my sleep; I sometimes lost 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night. I worried about my productivity the next day which made my insomnia worse. I worked with my therapist to re-frame the anxious thoughts. I told myself that even if I lost a couple of hours of sleep, I could still make it through the day with the help of some coffee. Thus, I didn’t need to stress about it. I also told myself that I am a capable person and always have the option of asking for help if I felt confused about an assignment. That took some of the fear out of the unknown.

The support system makes a big difference in how transitions go for me. I find it is important to have regular check-ins with my manager when I take on new responsibilities to see how things are going. When I get feedback on my performance, I know where I stand. It is in the absence of feedback and guidance that my thoughts run wild and I wonder if I did something wrong. In addition, praise, recognition, and words of encouragement are great motivators. I am encouraged to try and work hard when I see that my manager notices. When I don’t feel supported, I tend to lose productivity and interest.

Here’s what happened in one job where I didn’t feel supported. I was striving for a promotion for months. I let my manager know that I thought I deserved one. They supported me but cautioned that it would take a long time to get through the company’s promotion process. I was given forms to fill out to prove that I was working and delivering at the next level and justify that I should be promoted. I filled them out diligently and even reviewed them with my manager and mentor to ensure they were well done. I gave all my material to my manager and followed up with them every month to see what the status was. My manager told me they’d bring it up with upper management.

Months went by and all I heard was “not yet.” At one point, my manager told me that there was likely no budget for me to move to the next level and that I’d need to wait until next year. That message was demoralizing. It sent me the message “we don’t recognize your hard work,” which made me wonder why I would try hard in my job if I knew that I would not be recognized or compensated for it. I quietly promised myself that I was not going to wait another year. I continued to follow up with my manager and advocate for myself. Luckily, the promotion did come a few months later. I was satisfied with it, yet exasperated at the effort it took.

In a different job, I had the exact opposite experience. When I shared that I had goals to be promoted, upper management was fully supportive and made the effort to help me achieve those goals. I volunteered for learning opportunities and was given them. I was supported in taking on additional responsibilities and compensated for them. My managers checked in on me and my workload to ensure I didn’t burn out. I had such a great feeling when people at work had my back and were proactive about developing employees. In this work environment, the message I received was: “Your hard work is recognized. We are compensating you for your efforts and additional responsibilities. We want you to keep up the great work!”

Because of imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence at the beginning of my career, I felt awkward showing vulnerability to others. I was afraid to take risks on new responsibilities and positions in case I made mistakes and failed. I would only go for opportunities when my success was almost guaranteed. However, the types of opportunities that fell into this category tended to be short-term projects with little impact. I was not entirely satisfied with them. I was also afraid that if my manager championed me for a new job and I didn’t do well, I would disappoint my manager. Sadly, I didn’t feel I was someone worth investing in, even as I enviously watched others get groomed for leadership positions. I watched as my colleagues were offered exclusive training opportunities and placed on the fast track to leadership positions and wondered why I wasn’t in the club.

I figured out recently that I needed to be vulnerable with my managers and directors if I wanted them to take a chance on me. I had to accept that they would be part of my journey and that they would inevitably see me succeed as well as face setbacks. The setbacks weren’t necessarily things I needed to be embarrassed about and could be due to uncontrollable factors like budget cuts or market issues. I learned to accept that others would be intimately familiar with my journey and they would support me. My managers offered me a safe space to practice new skills and take on new responsibilities. They gave me candid feedback. I felt I could bring my authentic self to work.

I may not be able to get rid of imposter syndrome entirely. After all, it can get triggered by new situations and responsibilities as I progress in my career. I expect imposter syndrome may pop up with every new promotion and upgrade in job status that I get. However, being aware of its presence, especially the negative self-talk that kicks in, is one of the best ways to combat this affliction. I think being able to overcome the debilitating effects of imposter syndrome will open doors for me and allow me to progress further in my career than ever before. I will be less hesitant to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves and be able to deal with the foreboding joy that might set in when I obtain new opportunities. I think that will bring me increased personal fulfillment and satisfaction at work.