Mental Health & Self Help

Imposter Syndrome: A Guide for Feeling Like Less of a “Fraud”

Even the ultra successful achievers don’t talk about this.

“I think I’m going to superglue my butt to a chair and search the inner depths of my mind to find out what is actually going on,” I firmly decided one morning.

Going through your typical funk and blockage, I was done feeling like a truck ran over my creative juices.

No one ever taught us how to deal with living up to the standards that we set for ourselves, let alone decide when to lower the bar.

As I drifted into a deep meditative state, a vague vision began unfolding. Looking around, I found myself in an orderly, clean doctor's office. A kind man with a long, gray beard was inspecting my ear, tongue, heartbeat… well, the usual doctor’s checkup.

Although he commented that my state of health was flawless, he told me that he found frequent symptoms that plague more than 2 out of 3 people.

He carefully examined me and started listing all of the internal feelings that I had. In my head, I questioned, “Is this some sort of Jedi, telepathic Disney movie?” I didn’t sign up for this.

The doctor continued listing the symptoms, “Mhmm… fear of failing, feeling unqualified for what you are doing, recurring self-doubt, self-sabotaging behavior…”

Finally, he looked up and sharply pierced into my eyes. Breathing heavily and waiting for a response, I heard him describe that what I had was a prolonged, unaddressed case of Imposter Syndrome.

Suddenly, I awoke from the dream, vision, whatever you want to call it. The next day, I bombarded Google with searches about what I had. I realized that there was something haunting and freezing me from taking the necessary action steps to accomplish my goals.

Here’s what I found out about the recurring imposter syndrome and how to counteract its strong energy:

The Inner Voice That Yells, “Fraud Alert!”

Since my passion for personal development, health, and wellness space accelerated, my dream had always been to start a podcast that allowed me to interview and create close connections with experts and leaders that I admire.

The quarantine and free-time handed itself as a blessing, but also a curse. I knew that if I ever wanted to start a podcast, blog, or anything around my health and self-help obsession, the time is now.

A part of me dove headfirst into the opportunity, but as time passed another part of me emerged. Let’s call him “Party-Shitter Emilio.”

Every time I researched ideas for a new blog, outreached potential guests for my show, or even thought about filming myself to talk about an issue on social media, Party-Shitter Emilio knocked on the door.

As I became aware of his dominance, I realized he was an internal bully that would doubt every single idea, post, or piece of content that I created. Here are some examples of the manipulative, victim thoughts that infested my mind:

“No one is going to read this. You’re not an author or have any New York Times best-sellers, so just drop it.”

“You are not qualified to talk to this person. They have much better things to do than to sit down with your clueless ass.”

“You’re not a graphic designer, so stop trying to make aesthetic posts on Instagram.”

Ouch. I needed to show Party-Shitter Emilio out the door because he was gaining too much power.

The reality is that our minds are masters of internalizing stories that, most of the time, serve to protect us. From an evolutionary perspective, we are wired to avoid situations that challenge the needs and comforts that we spend so much time protecting.

If our inner critic goes unchecked, it will eventually tear down our ambitious visions to follow our hearts.

The Beast That We Are Dealing With

The term was coined relatively recently in 1978 by two psychologists, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance, who were researching this phenomenon amongst highly achieved women, but consequent research determined this to be prevalent across all demographics.

So, what are the main factors that give rise to imposter syndrome (IS)?

Lou Solomon, founder of Interact Studio, described in her TEDx talk labeled The Surprising Solution to Imposter Syndrome that there are four main elements to recognize if we have this:

• Anxiety
• Perfectionism
• Self-Doubt
• Fear of Failure

Check. Check. Check. Check.

If you have ever had any one of the feelings above, congratulations. You are normal…and not alone.

Studies have found that an estimated 70 percent of the general population has experienced the imposter phenomenon at some point.

In order to identify what we are dealing with, it’s important to define some traits of the imposter experience (*important to note that we are dealing with an internal experience, not a personality trait or mental disorder).

According to Harvard Business Review, IS is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. It doesn’t matter how much we achieve or do, people feeling this way are unable to internalize their victories.

Whether the setting is a new work environment, relationship, social group, sports team, or Star Trek fan club, we are all subject to feeling like a fraud.

The problem? If IS is left unchecked, then it can lead to a cascade of more extreme occurrences such as anxiety, depression, and endless worrying about perfecting a future outcome.

How Can This Internal Experience Play Out?

For many of us, when we take on an ambitious project or goal, we are highly motivated. As time goes by, we may begin to attract attention from the external world around our endeavors. Some people may even start to throw out labels such as “expert” and applaud us for our accomplishments.

This is when we are riding the high wave. But in our world, we have this thing called gravity. Everything must come down at some point.

In my case, I started to feel that if my podcast audio or writing style were not up to par with the standards that I had set as “quality,” then I would be labeled a fraud.

This manifested itself with unreasonable levels of perfectionism and anxiety to perform. I would spend hours researching the best microphones and promotion tools for others to listen to the episodes or read the blogs.

This created a vicious cycle of constant attention to microscopic details to the point that I was losing time overthinking instead of doing what I love.

The comical idea is that we begin to think that something is wrong with us because nobody in their right state of mind should feel this way.

However, the opposite is the reality. Even the most highly successful CEO’s, presidents, award-winning artists, or professors at prestigious universities feel this way.

In his narration of School of Life’s video, The Imposter Syndrome, Alain De Button quoted a 16th-century french philosopher that wrote,

“Kings and philosophers shit and so do ladies.”

We only see the external reality of others and ignore the fact that they too must go through the same ups and downs as we do. It’s part of the human condition, isn’t it?

Even the brilliant poet, author, and Nobel Laureate Maya Angelou once said,

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

Reality check: nearly everyone on the rise towards achievement and success will feel imposter syndrome. Regardless of where it comes from, we must begin to learn the tools that lessen its grip on us.

Remedies for Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

The following are some techniques that are specifically crafted to relieve the symptoms of impostorism so that we may reach our highest goals:

1. Call Yourself Out On Your Lies

We all have our own version of a “party-shitter” in our heads. Self-doubt will always linger around, along with its negative mental patterns.

It may sound cheesy, but I have found journaling to be extremely useful to understand where my emotions come from.

I use the concept of asking fill-in-the-blank affirmations in order to see if my statements are rooted in truth.

Some examples may be:

• “I feel anxious that if __________, then _________.”
• “If my project isn’t the success I thought it to be, my family and friends will ____________.”
• The worst outcome if_______ isn’t perfect is that________.”

Following that, I examine each statement and use the concept of, “actually…no.”

So, let's say I answered this to the second question:

“If my project isn’t the success I thought it to be, my family and friends will feel sorry for me that I wasn’t smart enough to pull it off.” After analyzing the statements, see if you can find a flaw or lie in it.

This is where you write below, “Actually…no. My parents and friends would be there to encourage me to start again, and even provide me with the resources and support to get there.”

This is an exercise that rewires the mind to notice our own limiting beliefs, fears, and doubts. The more we become consciously aware of them, the less of an influence they have over us.

2. Don’t Freeze

The best thing that you can do when imposter syndrome comes up is not to freeze (don’t choke).

Instead, learn as much as possible. There will be times when we realize that we are miles out of our depth of knowledge, and our party shitters will appear. But we are a curious species that tends to space out from its depth of expertise… a lot. That has never stopped us, however. Our brains are malleable and built to register new information.

If it did, would we have ever reached the moon, developed renewable energy sources, found ways to mimic the taste of meat in a laboratory (not quite though), or even built devices that allow us to connect instantly?

Even Elon Musk, the great industry disruptor, must go to sleep doubting himself for building yet another company in a sector that he has no idea about.

But has that ever stopped him?

Chase Jarvis, a photographer with profound insights on the creative process, says,

Don’t fake it ‘til you make it… Make it ’til you make it.

This goes along the concept of inching our way forward, and not freezing. For content creators, it means to keep consistently putting out art and enjoying the process.

Even in the face of feeling like an imposter, mastery was never achieved by those who stopped whenever they felt incompetent. The more we practice performing and “making,” we empower ourselves to believe in what we are doing.

3. Remember These Two Truths

In the words of entrepreneur and CEO, Mike Cannon-Brookes in his speech, How you can use imposter syndrome to your benefit,

• All successful people feel like frauds, and many other people feel this way.
• It doesn’t go away with any form of success.

I didn’t realize that it was such a prevalent psychological experience until I did the research. Therefore, it is important to identify that which we feel might be imposter syndrome, and it’s completely normal. No matter how many accolades, applauses, or achievements are given to us, we will be exposed to feeling like a fraud.

4. Speak About It

Honestly, even as I write this, I am feeling liberated from the thought that I’m not enough or that no one is going to take me seriously.

There is a natural beauty in vulnerability.

Even if you don’t go out and publish a blog to the world about feeling like a fraud, it is still important to communicate it.

Reaching out to a loved one, or someone that listens and understands us is a very powerful tool. Often times, others can remind us that we are playing dramatic stories in our head which ultimately creates resistance.

And from me to you, here is a daily reminder that you may repeat to yourself throughout the day whenever you feel down:

→ I am worthy of the life that I desire.

→ I am a badass that is constantly learning and evolving in order to be a force for good.

→ I am valuable in this space, and I belong.

All the love and positive energy,

Emilio Ortiz

Thanks for reading! I would indeed enjoy bouncing around ideas with other writers and readers, so therefore, feel free to connect with me through my main platforms: LinkedIn, Instagram, or Twitter. Also, I invite you to browse through a new project that I’m working on: The Innergy Motto. Have an awesome day!