Imperfectly Perfect Together
Love Defying Adversity
There is a saying that proclaims real love will find you when you least expect it. Whether you are ready or encountering your mix of emotions, the arrival of real love does not discriminate. It is that kind of love that fills your lungs with new air, gives your heart that extra beat, and naturally dilates your pupils.
The real love that shows you who you are even more capable of becoming, alongside someone who values your growth as much as their own. The kind of love that is here to stay and defy any adversity that comes along the way.
After surprisingly being diagnosed with a chronic illness at the age of 24, I felt like my whole life turned upside down from one day to another. I was lost in my own body, mind, and soul. I was in a constant state of transformation that many didn’t understand because they were not living the daily struggle of fighting an invisible disease. Rheumatoid arthritis made even simple tasks that we take for granted, like walking, brushing our teeth, or opening a bottle of water, extremely difficult. My family and real friends faced my adversity with me but other people, such as the ex-boyfriend who ended our 1.5-year relationship in a dreadful 5-minute phone conversation, left without thinking it twice. Adversity is not meant for everyone.
This turning point made me realize I needed to find happiness in my adversity.
Time became my new best friend, and I learned to move forward despite haunted memories of the past. I took the time, a year to be exact, to be in a relationship with me only. I focused on my health, both physically and mentally, and reconnected with the things that made me feel alive again. I wanted to travel. I wanted to meditate. I wanted to forgive.
After spending three amazing weeks in my motherland, Chile, I came back home to the United States. My energy felt renewed and filled with positivity. I wanted to meet new people and experience different cultures, so I decided to join a Meetup group event that was held on April 21, 2018, at a brewery near my home. The event held more than 100 recently moved professionals that wanted to network and make new friends. I met many people that night, but there is only one person who changed my life. That was the night I met Chris.
It seemed like he was a quiet and reserved man when he and his friend approached to introduce themselves. I smiled and waved. Chris stood quietly but stared at me with curiosity. I waved at him again to break his dumbfounded look. It worked! He timidly smiled and finally sat next to me.
From that point, I learned first impressions are not always right. Quiet and reserved? Nope, this man is far from that. To this day, I never realized how many words can come out of someone’s mouth in such a short amount of time.
We sat next to each other for hours that night. For some reason, it seemed like we knew each other for years. Our chemistry was magnetic. We shared stories and interesting facts about our past and present. Chris was adopted when he was 2 years old from South Korea and raised in Wisconsin. I was born in Chile and raised in New Jersey. For some reason, called life itself, we both ended up in Texas years later. We connected in a deep level of trust and he told me about his hardships, such as being a single dad and coping with a busy lifestyle.
From that night, we both developed a very loving friendship. A night became days, days became months, and months became years. Our friendship emerged to love. The real love.
In a loving relationship, there are always a few early signs that will tell you your relationship is going somewhere. Whether it is being able to connect on a deep level, being playful, or simply being comfortable together. Our sign manifested all of these in a very clear and vivid way…
It was an early Saturday morning in my apartment and we were laying in bed next to each other having a “pillow talk” when Chris started to become uneasy. His face started to become flushed, followed by his fidgeting. I was concerned and asked him what was wrong. He promptly responded, “Nothing.”
I looked at him perplexed when suddenly the growling sounds started. He curled up in the fetal position and that’s when the lightbulb went off.
I looked at him smiling playfully and said, “If you need to go Hiroshima, then just do it.” Chris gazed at me with “the love eyes” and ran to the bathroom. The explosion was real, but most importantly, the comfortability was even more real.
Our comfortability grew to the point where we decided to move in together and embrace our relationship to its fullest. Chris became a dedicated and caring partner who helped me believe in love through words, but more importantly through actions. It wasn’t only about celebrating the special occasions, but about facing the daily hardships together. Even my rheumatoid arthritis flare-ups felt different with him. His humor would uplift my spirits, and I would forget about my physical pain. He always made me feel beautiful and desired, no matter how bad my RA was acting up.
I became involved with his life and helped him develop balance. I established a significant relationship with his kids and embraced the responsibility of raising them as well. I supported and showed him what it means to be there for someone unconditionally. Some might think that support is people being there when you ask for help, but real love is being there without being asked or told because you want to be there. I wanted to be there for Chris. His busy lifestyle now became one inspired by love, equilibrium, and motivation.
We both support each other in different ways, but for only one reason. That one reason is the real love that we feel towards each other. There is no such thing as perfection in our lives, but we have found that real love is being imperfectly perfect together. We have had many ups and downs in our lives. Too many in reality. But each time life has brought us to our knees, we get up stronger together. I found real love in him. And he found real love in me.
