Impatience - Your Biggest Enemy In Getting The Desired Outcome
Decrease The Amount Of Impatience For Health & Monetary Gains - A Study Claims
A piece of good news for all those who patiently wait for the desired outcome which may vary from monetary gains to recuperating from a surgery or even coveted holiday.
In a recent study conducted by Stefan A. Lipman and Arthur E. Attema, claims that ‘good things come to those who wait and by decreasing the amount of impatience for health gains and losses.’
‘Many things in life will require waiting, as these outcomes will occur later in time. This holds for both good outcomes, such as a coveted holiday, monetary gains or recuperating from surgery, but also for bad outcomes, such as a dreaded presentation, parking fines or side-effects of certain drugs’, says Lipman & Attema.
In this instant gratification era, most of us have trained ourselves of doing things immediately, wanting almost everything instantly. We have lost the capacity to wait without being agitated. At times, we even prefer to change our decisions than to have patience.
Impatience - The Furious Enemy
For many people, sitting in non-action (and the unknown) are points of weakness. Sitting in non-action feeds their mind with thoughts convincing them that they need to know the outcome of their actions now, in that very moment. Suddenly impatience, confusion, and doubt fill their mind and body.
‘Impatience is an emotion on the anger spectrum. It starts with irritation and frustration and can quickly move into annoyance and even rage.’, says Mary Jane Ryan, author of ‘The Power Of Patience’.
‘Impatience turns on the fight-or-flight response because we are interpreting the cause of our impatience to be a threat,’ she says. ‘That causes us to release cortisone, and the stress hormone is toxic for all of our tissues, especially our brain.’
But why we are so impatient?
One of the reasons why we are so impatient is that, in this hyper-connected world, our brains are being re-wired constantly, every moment, by digital distractions & continuous interactions. There is so much out there on our fingertips which has an immediate negative (sometimes positive) impact on our daily lives which has further trained us to focus on short bursts.
As per the study, the average human attention span is now shorter than a goldfish and has fallen from 12 seconds to 8 seconds in a span of 8 years. In comparison, scientists believe that the goldfish has an attention span of nine seconds.
Another new research by Google, engineers found that 53% of mobile website visitors will leave if a webpage doesn’t load within 3 seconds.
Patience - The Vigorous Warrior
Patience (or forbearing) — not only the religions of the world have long praised this virtue but various scientific studies have claimed that better things really do come to those who wait.
Despite our need for speed, life demands a certain amount of patience from each one of us.
Sarah Schniter, a Fuller Theological Seminary Professor and Psychologist says, ‘Patience is the propensity to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity’, According to her research it comes in three main varieties: Interpersonal Patience, Life Hardship Patience, and Daily Hassles Patience.
Philosophers, writers, musicians, artists, great thinkers, inventors, business leaders; there is a common belief that patience is an essential ingredient in achieving success.
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet” ~ Aristotle
From the Buddhist perspective, however, patience refers to not returning harm, rather than merely enduring a difficult situation. It is the ability to control one’s emotions even when being criticized or attacked.
Patience (or khanti in Pali) is one the ‘perfections’ (paramitas) that a Bodhisattva trains in and practices to realize perfect enlightenment. In Theravada tradition, Patience is the sixth of the ten perfections while third of the six perfections in the Mahayana tradition.
In short, ‘Gentle Forbearance, Calm Forbearance Of Hardship and Acceptance Of The Truth’ are the three essential aspects of patience in Buddhism and covers each area of our daily life.
And thus, patience involves not only the ability to tolerate delays but also the willingness to let events unfold in their own time, naturally.
The Art of Knowing ‘How To Wait’
The ability to turn your impatience level down starts with self-awareness.
Patience requires awareness, acceptance and allowing: awareness of not only the goal but the big picture; acceptance of the ebb and flow of pieces coming together; and allowing the process to unfold in its own timing.
The resistance comes in when we question the ‘timing’, the ‘how’, or the ‘outcome’. When you trust in the process, you will experience miracles that go beyond what your mind could ever begin to imagine.
The first step in cultivating patience is recognizing your ‘impatience triggers’ with self-awareness. These could be the timing, the how, the outcome, specific people, situations, or even words. Once you understand your triggers, you can start to diverting your reactions.
‘If the situation is truly fight-or-flight, then the reaction is justified. Most of the time, however, the situation isn’t urgent; it’s just annoying and once you’re aware of what your brain is doing, you can choose to act differently.’, says Ryan.
Thus, pause and breathe. Practice patience in everyday situations mindfully. And remember that often difficult problems solve themselves with patience, we grow into healthy, functioning adults with patience.
And as Alan Watts says, ‘Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.’ Let life reveals its mysteries to you with patience.
