Impatience — the havoc it wreaks in our lives
Why are we so impatient; where does it come from? I must say, when I reflect on the times I got myself into trouble when I caused problems for others when I hurt someone — so many problems stem from this — IMPATIENCE — What can we do about it?
This is a Chinese proverb about Patience —
A moment of patience can prevent a great disaster, and a moment of impatience can ruin a whole life. Patience is power; with time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.
What is the source of impatience? — Is it arrogance — as in I am more important — what I need to do is more important, therefore ……. More than anything, it is a habit that we are unaware of most of the time. We don’t realize how much damage impatience does — the stress it causes in our lives. Just this morning, I found myself getting impatient with my husband because he did not remember a request I had made, and before I knew it, I got agitated and almost reacted. But I caught myself and decided that in the future, I would remind him and not make a problem of nothing.
First, we need to realize what we are doing wrong and the damage that might create. Second, we need to be proactive and practice mindfulness — meaning we think before we act not only through our actions but also our thoughts and emotions. It is better not to allow clutter and messes to build rather than make a big effort to clean it up later. Over time if we don’t take care of it properly, our lives will start to be messy.
Third, if we realize we slipped and reacted inappropriately, do our best and correct it right away.
We might even justify ourselves by thinking, “we are so busy.” But in the end, we are causing problems, sometimes irreparable harm by being too impatient.
I am a very impatient person, and for a long time, I carried that trait as a badge of honor, something to be proud of — because I thought my way was the best, the quickest, and everyone else should do the same. I had no tolerance for people being slower. It took me a long time to realize I was wrong.
A quote found in the Saturday Review — a review of B.H. Liddell Hart on nuclear strategy — ” Keep strong, if possible. In any case, keep cool. Have unlimited patience. Never corner an opponent, and always assist him to save face. Put yourself in his shoes — to see things through his eyes. Avoid self-righteousness like the devil — nothing is so self-blinding.”
I realize now that things are going more smoothly and move along faster because being patient fosters goodwill and creates a safe and harmonious environment.
Is there a method to become patient — I believe, and I know it helps when I stop and think of the other first — forget about myself for a moment and consider the other ‘s viewpoint? — What do they think, what is important to them.
When I reflect on how many times in my life — being impatient — has caused me dearly. — I made unwise decisions that I regretted, inflicted pain on others, and was not even aware of it. Good ideas turn into bad ones because we try to implement them prematurely without considering all other aspects.
Impatience is the precursor for a host of other problems such as quick to anger, being upset over the small stuff, too reactive in dealing with others. — being offended because someone does not respond to us immediately. — Getting frustrated very easily with ourselves when we don’t see the desired results of our efforts immediately. Indeed the list could get long — It will behoove us to practice in that area.
Lack of patience has caused many to trip up in their careers. Yet rarely does anyone ever think about impatience being a problem that must be corrected.
Maria De La Rosa