Politics

Imagine Being the World’s Biggest Asshole

The competition is tight.

Why are they the way they are? Why do they get the attention they do? Why, out of all the options of the kind of person they could be, do they choose to be assholes? On the other hand, if they themselves believe that they are good people, does it make it true that they are?

There are plenty of good people doing plenty of good work in the world. Some are famous, the majority operate in anonymity. You might be one of them. We know who they are, though it’s not because of the attention they receive. They don’t really need it anyway, but we do need them to keep doing what they are doing.

We could, all of us if we wanted, join their ranks. But that’s neither here nor there right now.

Fact is, we are far more familiar with people who are best described as the assholes of the world.

Greedy. Lying. Lusting for power. Manipulating people. Violent. Toxic. Narcissistic. Soulless. Using their privilege for themselves and their followers only.

Being born on third base and telling everyone they hit a triple. You already know who I’m talking about.

These are people who have positioned themselves, by hook or by crook, to be able to do great things for the world. And yet, with every chance they get, they prove that they are only interested in themselves and promoting their brand, and keeping their grotesque image front and centre to make sure the cash continues coming in.

Imagine having $44 billion lying around (or the ability to raise it) and then think of all the great things you could do for the world, all the problems you could help alleviate, all the lives you could change. And then imagine using that money to buy Twitter. Imagine being the kind of person who would make that choice.

Imagine being the President of a vast republic, the largest that has ever existed. You have virtually limitless natural resources and an educated population that is desperate to be part of the modern, civilised world. Your country could be a resource and technology giant. Instead, in your lust for power, you have let your country be controlled by a handful of oligarchs who insist that you wrap your nation’s destiny in a flag and ultra nationalism and misinformation and invade a weaker neighbouring country and mire your people in a hopeless war, to say nothing of the generations of destruction that your firepower reigned down on the innocents and infrastructure. Imagine being the kind of person who would make that kind of choice.

Imagine somehow becoming President of a not quite so vast, but far wealthier republic. Your role is to steward this place and its people to a bright 21st-century future. But that’s hard work and you don’t want that, and besides, you are controlled by corporate and foreign interests that only want that brightness for themselves. And so, you rely on a purposely disheveled education system to present you with the kind of ignorance your brand relies on. You wrap yourself in a flag, in a constitution you’ve never read, and in a God you clearly don’t believe in and promote a version of white supremacy that was once thought retrograde and therefore kept hidden, but suddenly is acceptable to talk about in public. You had a chance for greatness, but your ego, your own ignorance, your insecurities that are plain as day, your lifelong lack of responsibility-taking, and being held to account have combined to cause you to use lies, misinformation, and conspiracy theories to ever avoid being the answer for anything. Imagine being the kind of decision who would make that kind of decision about who they are.

Imagine you are a Georgia congresswoman who has positioned herself as a woman of the people, just telling it like it is. Your brand requires you to appear as some kind of backwoods rube to other backwoods rubes, despite the fact that you already had millions before entering politics. You have a chance to lead real change and make life better for ALL your constituents. Instead, you operate in a system that is so simple that even a simpleton like you could figure it out: 1) once a week, open your mouth and let some hateful, conspiracy-laden words tumble out, 2) watch the mainstream media react with predictable shock and dismay and 3) let the campaign contributions continue to pour in. Imagine being the kind of person who could have used their position to do great things and then imagine being this kind of person instead.

Imagine that you are a Florida congressman, well educated, and still young enough for people to say that you have a bright future ahead of you. However, you are unable to contain your desire for people younger than you, and at some point, your peccadilloes become public enough to warrant a police investigation. You never answer any questions about your dealings with 17-year-old girls or your adoption of a 19-year-old man as a son. Instead, you go on offense and accuse every one of your political opponents of being a pedophile or a groomer. It is glaringly obvious that you are deflecting, projecting, and distracting people from the truth. Imagine the daily feeling a person must get in his gut who has such damning deep secrets that could become public at any time.

Imagine that you owned the largest company that has ever existed. You have benefited from technology, automation, a friendly set of tax laws, and an economic system based on the exploitation of people and resources to keep an insatiable public in thrall to consumption. Despite the fact that (for now) you still need actual people (as producers and consumers) to keep the trillions coming in, you block each and every effort they make to organize their labor to demand the most basic of rights. You never have to answer for any of it, you never have to pay any taxes, you have no responsibility to make the world a better place and even if you did, you clearly have no awareness of how to go about it. Imagine being this kind of person.

Finally, imagine that you are the host of one of the most-watched news programs in the world. Because it is the most-watched, it generates the most revenue. To keep that revenue flowing you have to keep the eyes and ears of viewers glued to you. There are a number of ways you could do that, but the one you choose involves lies, misinformation, and baseless conspiracy theories. You know that you are a pawn of the elites who have created the culture war / cancel culture false dichotomy to keep people at each other’s throats, but you don’t care. Imagine being the kind of person who would use hatred, ignorance, and fear to get themselves ahead, instead of love and understanding.

Imagine a world that rewards this. Imagine a social, economic, and political system that seems to enable people who behave this way. Imagine that all these people have millions and millions of supporters who are convinced that I am wrong. Imagine their responses in defense of these purveyors of global assholery.