Imagination, Writing and Forest Fires

Writing constipation

This appeared in my email this morning:

“If we consistently work on our ability to concentrate, visualize, imagine, or logically analyze, the functioning of these faculties will improve, which increases our sense of well-being and capability to live confidently in the world.” ~ Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

It goes well with my thoughts on the imagination that I wrote about recently and a previous story I wrote about perseverance.

Still, I wonder if, as we settle into our senior years if the improvement is really possible. Some days I think it is other days I find myself backsliding into old habits and ways of thinking. I don’t see much progress if any. And some days I feel like I’m losing ground rapidly. From conversations with friends my age, I know they have similar thoughts and feelings. We don’t despair; we simply accept the fact that we are no longer capable of doing more or doing it better. Sometimes the best we can hope for is not to lose too much ground too rapidly.

The quote also brings to mind something a professor from the University of Minnesota once said in a class on technical writing that I took many years ago. He said that working to improve our writing is like trying to improve our golf game. Rather than getting better at first, we often get worse. Developing new skills and techniques takes time and effort. They don’t just happen. As the workout saying goes, “No pain, no gain.” It is as true for mental muscles as for physical ones.

My philosophy is this: the road ahead may not be straight or flat like the jogging trail above, but if we persevere, we’ll make progress and develop stamina for the difficult climbs.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about writing: what to write and how to write it, but I’ve written very little other than the 3 pages each morning that I compose in an exercise I read about in the book It Is Never Too Late to Begin Again. The author, Julia Cameron, calls them “Morning Pages.” I abbreviate that MP.

Yesterday was the first day in two weeks that I haven’t written my 3 pages first thing in the morning (after brewing my morning cup of Java, of course). I only had time for 1 page. However, I got back on track today.

Writing three pages each morning about nothing, in particular, just a stream of consciousness sort of thing, I feel is helping me with the flow of words. If you’ll allow me a rather distasteful analogy, it is a bit like getting unplugged after a bout with constipation. It feels somewhat the same, too.

I decided to take a hiatus from writing, as suggested by a friend, to see if I could get my batteries recharged. During this time, I’m writing only my “Morning Pages”. Aside from that, I take walks and enjoy other activities.

Why?

I think I’m suffering from burnout. Either that or age and senility are catching up with me. I just lost my desire to write. Has that ever happened to you? If so, what did you do? My friend suggested I needed to take a break for several weeks and not even think about writing. Sorry, but I can’t do that. I can’t think about writing, but I will try to take a break from actually doing it.

Another thing Julia suggests is taking a walk each day. I’ve done that a couple of times and plan to do it more often as the weather cools. Last year, during the early stages of lockdown, I walked almost every day. I saw lots of other people doing the same thing.

As I take a break from writing (we’ll see how it goes) I do so with more than a little trepidation about not writing. At its root, I fear that if I stop for long I may never start again, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without writing. I don’t write pages and pages, but I do write a little each day. If nothing else, I read your stories and poems on Medium and respond to them. I try to encourage other writers.

I also like to help other people with life issues. I feel I’ve learned a little over the 76 years I’ve walked this planet. I’m always glad to share my experience, strength, and hope with the hope that it will help others.

Also, there are the letters I write to my 92-year-old aunt. I must keep those going. She lives in California, so too far to visit often. We keep in touch via our letters, so I aim to write to her at least once a week. Most weeks I succeed. The letters have little, if any, literary quality, but I do try to be entertaining and keep her posted on what’s happening here with my wife and me.

Besides, I like to write.

Does that make any sense? I like to write but I can’t come up with anything I feel worthy of writing about for general consumption.

I still spend an hour or two each day reading and commenting on what you, my dear writer friends publish here on Medium. And I do make an occasional foray into Facebook, where I used to spend most of my online time before I discovered Medium.

Perhaps a factor, too, is that I’m worried about my hometown. The Dixie fire in northern California that burned through the town of Greenville and around Lake Almanor, where my parents used to live, is now threatening Susanville, the town I grew up in. I heard this morning that another fire was burning near Janesville, a small community about 10 miles from Susanville, and that town had been evacuated.

Susanville is the county seat for Lassen County and has a population of nearly 20,000. Many people from Greenville and the surrounding area have sought shelter in Susanville after evacuating their homes.

I’ve been following the fire reports and praying for the people impacted by this latest natural disaster and hoping Susanville would be spared.

My heart bleeds for all the beautiful trees and animals destroyed as well as the homes and businesses lost. When I see such destruction I can’t help but ask: Where are you, God? Why do you allow such things to happen? I know I’ll never have the answer, at least not this side of death, but that doesn’t stop me from asking and complaining and tugging on God’s beard. I want to yell: Hey, You up there. Are You Awake? Are You paying attention?

I started this piece several days ago. I keep getting called to other activities. Maybe that is a third reason why I haven’t written much lately: too many other things going on in my life right now.

Today is not a quiet day. The drywall guy, Josh, stopped by to check on what needed to be done in our bathroom remodeling project, took some pictures, and left promising to be back soon.

Our next-door neighbor had part of a tree blow down in a storm that came through the day before yesterday and the tree crew came today to cut it down. I can hear their chipper loud and clear despite having the windows tightly closed.

But life goes on and so does my writing, haltingly, perhaps, but at least I’m making progress, or think I am. You be the judge.

Happy Reading, Writing, and Connecting, Dear Friends.

Here are links to my stories on Imagination and Perseverance. if you’d care to take a look.