Imaginary Apps to Help You Navigate Politics on Social Media

Technology you need before election season goes into full gear

The political season is upon us and is far longer than it needs to be. So your social media, which was once a place of joy, becomes a bloodbath, and you just wish there were tools to make navigating these times easier. Luckily, with these soon-to-exist apps, there are.

Void

Do you know how it sometimes feels like you are screaming into a void when discussing politics? Now, you don’t have to wonder. Not only will your typing fingers be happy, but you will also get to let out some of that stress. Just turn on the app and scream your frustration into the black swirling hole. What happens after you yell those opinions? Nothing! It’s a void. Those words are ignored, similar to what you were already experiencing.

Doppelgänger

There have been times I wanted to say something but didn’t want my mentions destroyed by political Twitter. Doppelgänger is a gig platform where people can form ghost accounts for you. They will post whatever you want to post and deal with (or ignore) the comments. Your profile will be safe, you’ll have your say, and you’ll participate without any threat to your well-being. All of this can be yours for a low $40 monthly subscription.

Poll Generator

Need a poll to illustrate how right you are? This app has got you covered. You can make a poll on anything using fun graphics with the aid of mysterious poll-takers. How would that politician be doing if he owned a cat that ate a burrito? What percentage of voters who read Harry Potter before 2015 are likely to vote blue? Is there a correlation between Scorpios and populism? Just enter the information you need, and you’ll get a poll to add to the polls already suffocating people’s social media feeds.

Source

If we’ve learned anything while using Void, it’s that you can’t change people’s minds on social media. Still, you’ll get plenty of people demanding links to sources if you dare post anything against their candidate. With the Source app, you can copy the post into the search bar and immediately access several pertinent sources proving your point. Are they 100% accurate? Honestly, no one is sure. It’s not like anyone reads those links they receive anyway.

Grammarly: Political Discourse Edition

Did you know you can sometimes come across as a jerk when you are passionate about something or someone? Surprising but true. There is a time and a place to be a jerk. When we are rude at the wrong time, we lose potential allies. This new edition of the popular grammar service will analyze what you are writing and, using the context of what you’re talking about and who you are talking to, decide if you are being a jerk. It will also suggest alternative ways to make a point that won’t cause friends to flee.