I’m Vaccine Hesitant but got my Shot

Here’s why you might want to also get your “Fauci Ouchie”

I am not a fan of big pharma. I am skeptical of new drugs that haven’t been tested for long-term efficacy and safety. I believe that natural immunity is superior to the temporary immunity conferred by vaccines. So why did I get the shot? Because I want to go back to my drum class, I want to hug my friends and family and return safely to my work as an acupressurist.

The vaccine, though not perfect, is the most sensible course of action and the fastest way we can return to normal. We make decisions based on risk versus benefits every time we get into a car or plane, every time we undergo a minor or major surgery, almost every action we take carries some level of risk and benefit. To me, the benefits of keeping myself and my loved ones safe, as well the possibility of eradicating the virus, or at least slowing its ravages, outweigh the potential risks.

Some people are zealous advocates of the vaccine. They proclaim faith in science. They feel sure the vaccine is safe and effective. They believe that people who do not take the vaccine are reckless, selfish, and ignorant. I feel they are as extreme in their beliefs as those who lean toward conspiracy theories such as the idea that microchips are being implanted.

There is something fundamentally wrong with the division of our nation into pro and anti-vaxxers. The strongly held beliefs that are dividing us are as dangerous as the virus itself. From my experience, the truth lies somewhere between the extremes.

I will not be bullied into compliance. On the other hand, I could not live with myself if my refusal to be vaccinated resulted in my spreading the disease to other people, especially those for whom it would mean long-term consequences or death.

I felt lousy after the Johnson and Johnson shot- fever, aches, and nausea-but I understand that it was because my immune system was learning to fight the virus. By afternoon, after a grilled cheese sandwich and a walk in the woods, I felt much better. I can only imagine how much worse it would be to be sick with COVID-19 for days, weeks, or months. I am happy to have any level measure of protection against it.

I am grateful to live in a country that values individual liberty and freedom of choice. I also believe that we as citizens have a responsibility and a duty to do what’s best not just for ourselves but for others as well. Every adult has to decide whether or not to take the vaccine and live with the consequences of this decision.

I hope sharing my experience is helpful. May we get through this together.

Karen’s goals for 2021 include finishing her MFA thesis and dressing like a Star Trek alien from a utopian planet. Her Creative Nonfiction and poetry have appeared in Brevity, NPR’s The New Normal, Straw Dog Writer’s Guild Pandemic Poetry and Prose, Multiplicity and Voices of the Valley Anthology.