I’m Thrilled to be Alive

It’s time I said so.

How can we be inching up to 2020? It hardly seems possible. How has your year been? Filled with mostly good things, I hope. Although, as I write this, I realize how unlikely that is. We’re all going through something.

This time of year, I become introspective to the point of obsession, which, for me, is business-as-usual as I’ve suffered from OCD my whole life. I’ve never sought help for it, as I choose to battle it on my own. Am I winning this ongoing assault? Not always. Hardly ever, actually. It’s something I’ve grown to live with, like a stray cat you’d love to take in, but can’t as you already have three. But you still feed it. You still nurture it.

But I didn’t come here to bitch. I wanted to share my thoughts after watching a documentary called “Heal,” on Netflix. That’s my new jam now while I peddle away on my stationary bike. No more “ropeless jump rope” for a while as I screwed up my knees. (Shameless plug: See below.)

The film was all about the mind/body connection and how, literally, the way we think, can make us sick. Now that’s nothing really new under the sun, but I was struck by some of the people interviewed who were able to beat Stage 4 cancers, chronic disease, and even unexplained skin eruptions by changing their mindsets and embracing alternative therapies like Reiki, meditation, visualization, etc.

The inherent message is that Big Pharma is not only ineffectual but doing more harm than good. Personally, I believe we need to meet somewhere in the middle — a melding of the conventional with the alternative.

For the skeptic, and I possess a healthy dose even though I believe in the ancient Indian practice of Ayurvedic health and wellness, I take herbal supplements and try to use natural products whenever possible — there’s a lot of goofiness here.

Here’s the takeaway that got my brain churning: We are all connected to the earth and to each other. Why else do people ask for prayers on Facebook? Sometimes miraculously they work and other times…

And even though I’m not religious, I am spiritual and it’s hard to turn down a plea from someone who is suffering or is connected to someone in need of prayers.

Since I know very little about religions, I figure I can cover all the bases by sending up prayers to God, Buddha and the Universe. Certainly, one of those should take. One can only hope.

Many of the documentaries I’ve watched have discussed the effect that “cleansing foods” have on our bodies. Especially those that are plant-based. Having had breast cancer, I am gobsmacked by the fact that my doctors seldom discuss food and its impact on disease. Even my beloved oncologist who once told me that I can have one glass of wine on Friday and one on Saturday. I’ve since learned that Western medical schools devote approximately four hours to nutrition! Chew on that for a bit.

And Doctor M., I’m sorry but I’ve found it difficult to stick to that particular “regimen.” Still love you, though.

Those of you who read me know that, approximately four and a half years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer less than two months after my parents’ own diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer.

For someone with OCD and anxiety, this is tough to whitewash, to shove into the deepest recesses of the brain…to let it go that “I had breast cancer.”

My parents died nine months later within two weeks of one another. Since my cancer was caught early, here I am, hale and hearty and able to reach out to you.

OCD wasn’t enough for me. I also suffer from anxiety. I brood and I fret and I worry about a myriad of things: My health, my husband’s health, finances, our cats, the fact that I don’t write as much as I’d like to on this platform. I want to. I aim to write every day but time gets away from me.

How do the rest of you do it? You don’t have to write another “How I Made it on Medium” story. Just whisper in my ear.

This is a time of year when many people are hurting. Families are fractured. People are dealing with chronic pain, both mentally and emotionally, money is tight for many and “joy” is at a premium. But we must try to find it somehow. Find it and hold on with a death grip. Because life is as fragile as a dandelion in the wind and we need to stop, take a breath and muster whatever fortitude we can to get up every morning and do it all again.

Today, I thought about how senseless all my worrying is. It’s keeping me from being in the present and that’s a horrible place to be. A wasteful place. But I have to get out of my head and into some kind of safe haven where I can bask in the love that surrounds me. From my husband, our furkids, my sister, and her family and even a few good friends. And perhaps even from some of you, as the affection I feel for many of the people on this platform I consider friends, is genuine. That’s probably why I’m still hanging around. It certainly isn’t my stats! But who knows? Maybe one day they’ll surprise me. That is part of the fun, after all.

All we can do is our best. After that, well, here comes the Universe again. Hopefully, it will boost us when we need it and cradle us when we fall. Sometimes I feel that “falling” is all I do. But to my credit, I get back up and back at it. What other choice is there?

Who knows? Maybe 2020 will be the year when my screenplays finally get noticed. Or, I’ll begin to make what amounts as a decent wage on Medium. If not, then I’ll shoot for 2021. I’m nothing if not a dreamer. Certainly, you are too. That’s why we’re all here together. To make ourselves heard in the hope that someone, somewhere will be moved by our words.

Yes. I am thrilled to be alive. And so blessed. That will be my mantra. I never had one before so I might as well adopt one now. And I’ll try to remember that our minds and our bodies are miraculous in their ability to heal if only we help them along. With an outside assist, of course, if needed.

And yes, we’re all connected. For anyone “out there” who is having a tough time, or is lonely, or feels like life is nothing but a kick in the ass — reach out and there are those who will reach back.

This writer will. You can count on it.

Thank you for reading. Happy, Healthy Holidays to you and yours.

Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.