Mental Health
I’m That Friend
Imma ride or die until…
About a month ago, I noticed one of my favorite physical therapists did not appear to be having a very good day. He was always, mostly, quiet and reserved. But on this day, even more so. At one point I walked by him and leaned in, “Don’t say anything. Just point them out. Then I’m going to need you to roll out and establish an alibi.” He grinned. Another PT within earshot heard me and laughed. From then on, I was known as The Ride or Die.
That’s just me. I don’t get close to too many people. Hell, he and I aren’t close. He’s the PT that makes me cry! Well, my body makes me cry, he just puts me through the paces but I digress. I detest bullies and will, yes ma'am, stick my nose in where it doesn’t belong, if I see something amiss. If you’re going to be stupid — fair warning. Don’t be stupid where I’ll catch wind of it.
Grab a coin. Any coin with do. Turn it over to the head's side of it. One side of a two-sided coin, yes? Now. Flip it over. No longer heads but tails. People are the same way. Well, the ones that don’t end up on the 6 o’clock news, anyway.
Here’s my tail side
I had a “friend” once. We’ll call her… Donna (simple and generic enough). Donna was in the employee break room one day, alone and crying. Missed Red Flag #1. I made the mistake of asking her what was wrong. Her husband was leaving her for his secretary, I know, so cliche, and he had wiped out all the bank accounts. Leaving her and leaving her broke. Nice. To add insult to injury, he had purposely not paid any of the bills for 3 months so that he’d have money to move out.
Isn’t he special?
And so this was her life and by proxy my life for the next nine years.
Once I got roped into the “bestie” role, I found it impossible to get out. Until I moved away. And then the tie still held me in its grip via text, phone, and email. Now in 2021, I barely hear from her. This “friendship” began in 1999.
I’ll give you a minute.
I know.
It’s a lot.
So, sometimes when friends disappear they haven’t really disappeared. They’ve been struggling for quite some time like an octopus attempting to get out of a straightjacket to get out of something that they never had any desire to be in. But how does one extricate themselves safely from someone who is unstable?
This is the same chick that to this day I don’t know what I said or did but I came back from a meeting and a couple of copying paper boxes of my archived training materials had been dumped all over the floor. I knew who did it. I didn’t have a doubt, nor did I need to ask.
This is the same person who was working in call center mode when I got a call from her supervisor one day. They said my “friend” was on the phone with an inbound call telling the caller all of her personal problems, threatening to go to her soon-to-be ex-husband's job and kill him, and then kill herself.
Did I mention that all three of us worked for the government?
Mental illness knows no bounds. Not even doors where you have to swipe an ID badge can keep it out. I had to go to my boss and tell him what was going on so I could be dismissed from my duties as I dealt with this next crisis of hers. Permission granted. I mean in all seriousness. What was he going to say? No?
I raced up to the floor she was on. I had told her supervisor to pull her from the call center and stick her in a conference room until I got up there. Her supervisor said that the higher-ups were talking about firing her. I went into the conference room where she was and had a come to Jesus meeting with her. Then I talked to the Mucky Mucks and saved her job. THEN I took her to her shrink’s office. They wanted her admitted so then I took her to her apartment where she could get a few things and drove her to the hospital and got her checked in.
Ride or die? Yeah.
But only up to a point.