I’m Sorry, It Was All My Fault
Even when it wasn’t.
We’ve all been in one of those situations. Somehow, someway, something we put in motion in an effort to achieve a specific result didn’t work out quite the way we planned.
It might be the result of someone’s efforts, or lack thereof, that threw a monkey wrench into the works. It might just be the old adage of “Murphy’s Law” that if something can go wrong (and something can ALWAYS go wrong) it will.
Doesn’t matter.
Assigning blame is a huge time waster.
What’s done is done and we can never rewrite the past. If we’re not careful, mulling over past events will do nothing more than cripple any possibility for present tense action.
So, what is one to do in the midst of finger pointing and armchair quarterbacking when faced with a particular problem that is close at hand, not moving in a positive direction, and potentially spiraling out of control?
Accept the blame!
And then move on.
It may be right. It may be wrong. It does provide a starting point for getting things off of dead center — and that, in an effort to move forward, is priceless.
It’s rather amazing just how far many people are willing to jump into action to resolve a situation when you fall on your sword and are willing to shoulder the blame.
The altruistic side of people comes through when they think they are now in a position of being invaluable and helpful.
When you hand over a little power with your submissive act of contrition, you can receive a boatload of support, knowledge, effort and whatever else it takes to move forward with your cause.
Try it.
People react to being a member of a team effort much more so than when they feel that someone “in charge” is telling them what they should be doing.
This is not to say that being an enabler to the chronic inabilities of others to function in their world is the proper stance to take in life. Everyone needs to learn to stand on their own two feet. You can’t constantly make excuses to allow for dysfunctional behavior.
Rather, in a situation by situation case, the best route to a satisfactory resolution to a specific issue may well be to break through the first road block (and trying to figure out how to assign blame is often a huge one) and move onto the open field of possible options for a successful outcome.
If necessary, after the problem is resolved, it may be feasible to revisit the circumstances of an issue and dissect the various components that lead to the initial problem.
Then, and only then, does it make sense to discover the source of what went wrong — mainly in an effort to try to keep it from happening again.
Blame — defined as “to hold responsible or to find fault with” — is a negative approach to seeking a positive outcome.
If you can take “blame” off the table by apologizing upfront (whether guilty or innocent) you just may be able to open the door to creative and effective solution options.
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