I’m Sorry I Was A Crappy Boyfriend

We all can change… for the better

I’ve been writing a lot here about feminism and how to be a supportive husband and father.

As a response, many readers have been expressing how they think I am “such a good husband and dad.”

Thanks, I’m honored that you see me this way. But I feel like an imposter.

I still make mistakes, I’m still learning how to become a better version of myself. Little by little.

However, I have a confession to make. I wasn’t always a good partner. In fact, if I look back, I was a terrible boyfriend in many of my past relationships.

I was insecure and clingy. Possessive, and arrogant. I resorted to gaslighting and emotional abuse a lot more times than I want to admit. And I crossed boundaries that my ex-girlfriends tried to set up.

I was jealous that my accomplishments didn’t match theirs. I would yell at them and become emotionally distant. I gave the silence treatment when my ego got hurt.

I know I grew up in a dysfunctional society that saw so many of these behaviors as “romantic,” and in a way, I thought I was doing things the way they were supposed to be. But that doesn’t excuse the women I hurt on my healing journey.

So to you, the women I hurt: I’m sorry.

I mean it: I’m sorry.

Know that I understand what I did wrong, and I’m fighting every day to not only fix myself but make the world aware that we are in the 21st century. That some behaviors are not acceptable anymore, and should have never been.

Know that I now have children. And that I’m doing my best to educate them to be better than I was. I’m teaching them consent and equality, respect and accountability.

I want them to have a better role model than I did.

While this won’t heal the pain I inflicted in the past, I hope it prevents further damage. And that little by little, we create a better world where everybody, regardless of gender identity, race, or sexual orientation, feels accepted.

I dream of a world where everybody feels like they belong.

Yours,

— Sean

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