I’m ready for more

A poem

Have you ever had the feeling that life is about to take off? Or perhaps that you’re about to take off: make some big life changes, start a new project or just experience one of those fantastic bursts of energetic productivity.

Sometimes I have that feeling while at the same time feeling my most lethargic! In the past, it would frustrate me. I’d feel the disconnect sharply and be sure that I was failing myself. Nowadays, I have more perspective — perhaps a gift from Covid?

I can be still and wait.

And I can trust the process that’s unfolding. A process that I become more and more aware of as I wait and trust. Some days I stay in bed and I feel neither pre-Covid guilt nor Covid-justified. I feel patient.

Other days I jump out of bed early and eagerly. Not because I have somewhere to go or something pressing to do but because that feeling is pressing. It energises me and I cannot stay waiting. Then, having arrived at my dining room office, I come to a stop and find that, again, today is not that day.

I’ve been sitting in the window waiting The window filled with sun I’ve been getting sleepy waiting But my wait has just begun

Slow rays softly cover my eyes All blue to quietly leave Red warmth to sing a lullaby Of life to covered seed

I feel the sapling growing Nearing the burst of shell I feel that sense of knowing With burst, all must be well

Eagerly, I wait the time Nearing, but not yet here Eagerly, I sense the climb That must yet be feared

But today is not that day Today I’m ready for more, More looms as here I stay More beckons at the door

Fearless, I whisper to myself I will be ready still Once sweet sleep has revived my Self And I leave this window sill.