Personal Growth

I’m Over 30 and Still a Nobody

Why You Don’t Have to ‘Be Somebody’

Most of us have, at least once, looked at somebody else’s life, and felt like a nobody.

We watch influencers on Instagram, making a passive income while they’re out hiking a mountain somewhere, or cruising around the world on a yacht. And where are we? Probably lying at home on the couch with a bag of Doritos resting on our belly; or maybe out on a cigarette break, trying to ignore that our crappy job is slowly eating away our time and dignity.

We read articles about how somebody, at 21, created a seven-figure business online and now does motivational speeches about “how you too can be successful.”

Successful…

Today, more than ever, people face the pressure of having to be somebody — a presence. You are no longer successful enough if you only have a high-paying job, and drive an expensive car; you also have to have thousands of followers on Twitter or Instagram, you need to encourage others to follow your footsteps, and you have to make it early. Didn’t make your first million before 25? Try again.

Every day, we encounter expectations — from ourselves, our families, friends, society. These expectations influence us to make decisions that are not necessarily motivated by our own will. We base many of our actions on the thoughts and opinions of others.

I grew up in a family of economists. My mom, my sister, stepdad, uncle. All economists. I could always sense their hope of me becoming like them. My mom considered it crucial that I would have a respectable job, with a respectable salary. So for a long time, I thought that was what I wanted too.

But it turned out differently for me.

A few days ago, I had an impulse to search on Facebook for old friends from school. The majority had built big careers for themselves. I found content managers, lawyers, engineers, and business owners. Some of them are social media influencers, and two have become world-famous music producers. Naturally, I started comparing them to where I am.

At almost 31 years of age,

• I don’t have a car. For me, it’s the skateboard or the subway if I need to get somewhere.
• I can’t afford Starbucks. I brew my own coffee at home and bring it in a thermos.
• I have 54 followers on my Instagram and even fewer on Twitter.
• I don’t have a corner office or any office for that matter. Actually, I’m unemployed.
• I’m living on the last few dollars in my savings account.

So why don’t I feel like a complete failure, even if every clue tells me that I am? How come I think the opposite; that I’m thriving?

Simple, I have different aspirations.

I have never had an interest in building a career. I never really cared about having more money than would pay my bills and food, and I wasn’t interested if people liked my Instagram pictures or not. I only had one aspiration, one dream: to travel the world. And in that, I have been quite successful.

For the last two years, I have lived as a full-time traveler. I have worked and lived in a foreign country, and I have traveled to over 12 countries in Europe and Asia. It has been the happiest time of my life, despite society trying to remind me that I am an underachiever. All the money I could save went towards chasing my goals and aspirations. Every day I asked myself, “how can I be closer to my goal tomorrow than I am today?” This is the only cliché I will ever preach with confidence and a clear conscience:

Chase your dreams! Be relentless.

Whether you’re trying to build that seven-figure business, educate yourself to be a lawyer, or simply hustle day in and day out at any given job, ask yourself: “Is this really what I want to do in my life?” And be brutally honest (it’s not always easy). If the answer to the question is “yes,” then great, I couldn’t be happier for you. Go get those seven figures, climb that mountain, shout “objection your honor,” or sell the hell out of that insurance.

But if the answer is “no,” it’s time to take some action.

Changing paths in life is one of the scariest and most difficult decisions you can make. When I decided to move abroad and to become a full-time traveler, I was already deeply invested in several things. I was a full-time student, in the middle of a 5-year university program, I had a part-time job, and an apartment in the city. I had friends and family that I love spending time with, but I wanted something different.

Quitting university and my job the same week, selling most of my stuff, and getting rid of my apartment was terrifying. I was leaving the comforts and securities in my life to throw myself into unexplored territory. For the first time, I was completely leaving my comfort zone.

It turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

During most of my 20’s, I was under the impression that dreams magically come true. I wanted to travel, but I never did anything to become a traveler. I was waking up in the mornings like an accident and had no plan to reach where I wanted to be. I thought if I were lucky, it would just happen to me. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. I have, since then, realized that dreams don’t come to you. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket. You have to take the initiative and be determined and focused on getting towards your dreams. You have to fight.

Reggae artist Chronixx simplifies the concept beautifully in an interview on KEXP:

If you want to drive to Seattle, don’t drive to Oregon.

Now is it that easy? Well, kind of. Many of us have chosen our path in life based on expectations and without conscious thought. I didn’t study at university because it was what I wanted to do. I did it because it’s what I should do. I did it because it made my family happy, and when somebody asked, “what do you do?” I had a good answer.

The key is to become aware of what you want to do in life and where you want to be. To find the spark that makes you wake up excited in the mornings. To identify your dreams — and then work hard, every day, to achieve them. You might not become a professional guitar shredder, but you can at least practice your fingers bloody to get closer to it.

If you enjoyed this article, please consider checking out some of my other work.

Philip Sundt has been a full-time traveler for over 2 years, has since then visited more than 12 countries, and realized that life on the road is possible — even for an average Joe. Philip covers travel, freelancing, and personal growth. Say hi on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook!

If you would like a monthly roundup of my latest articles, please sign up to join the gang here.