I’m not organised but learning to do it

Summary

The author is working through personal challenges, including past bullying and a chaotic home environment, to become more organized and pursue their passions in music, writing, and art.

Abstract

The author shares their struggle with disorganization and the impact of their upbringing, which included being bullied and living in a cluttered home. Despite a difficult past, they find solace in playing the violin and have aspirations to become a professional musician, writer, and artist. However, they acknowledge the challenge of balancing the time required to achieve their goals with the demands of daily life, feeling that 24 hours a day is insufficient for all they wish to accomplish. The author is determined to overcome their chaotic tendencies and is actively learning to become more organized.

Opinions

The author believes their youth was marred by bullying and a lack of support, which affected their readiness to pursue a professional music career at the appropriate age.
They have a strong love for playing the violin, which has been a coping mechanism during tough times.
The author recognizes the importance of a structured musical education and regrets not being able to commit to it earlier in life.
They perceive their childhood home environment as chaotic and disorganized due to excessive clutter.
The author self-identifies as a chaotic and disorganized person but is motivated to change and manage their time better to achieve their life goals.

I’m in the middle of a hard time right now. Some things aren’t going well.

I didn’t receive the youth I was supposed to get. I played the violin as a child. Playing the violin allowed me not to think about what was happening. I loved, and still love, to play the violin. I wanted to become a professional violinist. But I wasn’t ready for it at the time every musician goes to the conservatory. You have to be around 15 or 16 when you should become very serious about practising the violin along with a very good musical education. Only then, you can profit in the later stages of your life, say in your twenties when you reach the ages of starting a beautiful career. The education is important: where you study too, the teachers you have and who you work with. I wasn’t ready. I wanted to, but I was too young to realize that my efforts needed to become more serious and professional. I was a little playful child with lots of issues on my mind. Nobody listened to me what was going on at school. So, I hid in different ways, often by playing music on my violin.

There were a lot of things on my mind. That resulted in a chaotic life, at least that is how it appeared to me. But not only the things on my mind were bothering me. My parents’ house was a mess in my childhood. I barely could walk through the living room, because of huge piles of books, newspapers and other irrelevant stuff. There was simply too much stuff in the house, with only space for one small path to the kitchen and one path to my bedroom.

People around me know I am a very chaotic person and I’m not organized at all! But I want to become an organized person. There are so many ideas in my head to do in my life, to write about, or even paint or play the violin. But it seems that I lack the time to do all the things I would like to do. Twenty-four hours in a day is not enough for me it seems. At least, that’s what I feel!