I’m not dieting but I’m going to lose weight. I’ve Yo-Yo dieted my whole life starting at age 17. I thought I was fat — my brothers called me Aidie, the big fat elephant at the show. I was 64 kg.

I’ve joined Weight Watchers, Gloria Marshall and even made it to lifetime membership at Jenny Craig and probably others I’ve forgotten. I’ve lost weight every time — and put it back on every time — sometimes faster than others. I reached 72kgs with Jenny and looked positively anorexic.

Last year I tried Noom. I didn’t lose hundreds of kilos but I lost 10. I was happy because I didn’t diet. I just watched what I ate — and added it to the Noom app on my phone.

I kept it off until Caelin was born. Since then, the kilos have crept back on so it’s time to Noom again.