PRISM & PEN — AMPLIFYING LGBTQ VOICES THROUGH THE ART OF STORYTELLING

I’m Not a Trans Woman Invading Women’s Spaces, Your Cisters Invited Me

I don’t want to make it awkward

I am a transgender woman. I didn’t want to be, but that ship has sailed. I want to assimilate into the group I should have been a part of all along. I have looked online for groups of women who will allow girls like me to join them. I have found a couple.

Tennis is my jam

I used to play a lot of tennis, and since I transitioned, I actually felt like leaving the house. I was no longer fatalistic and depressed. I looked online and found a local LGBTQ tennis league. I contacted the organizers of the league and asked them if they allowed girls like me to join. The guy I contacted said that they did and I showed up on Sunday. I was the least skilled player there that day. I had fun and I wanted to return. I am not the sort of person that can be where they are not wanted. Well, that is not true, many folks don’t want me alive, but I ignore those folks. On my second visit, I asked the league president, a very attractive man, if I fit in. I also asked if I should come back. He said an enthusiastic “yes” to both. If he had said “no,” I would have gone home and cried for a day or five and never darkened their doorstep again. But they said “yes.” I have become an accepted member of the league and I am the Entertainment Coordinator.

My tennis league is comprised of almost all men. I have always wanted to hang out with women. I was not allowed to before my transition. I say not allowed, but I really mean not allowed the way I wanted to be accepted. I would be the rooster in the henhouse. Not my cup of tea.

I tried to join a couple of women’s tennis groups, but those emails musta got lost or accidentally sent to spam or some such thing.

Undaunted, she persists…

Golf Much?

I found a local women’s golf group. They play nine holes and then go out to eat afterward. I was upfront with who I am. I sent this message:

You can see that she had given my membership in the group some thought. I was super excited to be accepted into a women’s group.

I showed up to golf on Tuesday afternoon and the place was packed. I gave running and hiding a serious thought. I steeled myself and went inside and paid. I know how events like the nine and dine can be a bit chaotic. I didn’t want to be left out in a game of musical chairs, so I asked one of the women if I could ride with them. They said that I could, whew one crisis averted. I had a wonderful round. I couldn’t make the dining portion of the event. I had a tennis match to get to. I made it to the dining portion the next time I played. It was wonderful. It was exactly like I had always dreamed it would be. A bunch of older women talking about stuff. Boyfriends, ex-husbands, and the like.

I knew that I wanted to come back every week, but that was not up to me. I decided to give the organizer an easy out. My text and the reply that I received was nothing short of amazing. I add it below.

I was super nervous about the answer and I was terrified to open the email. I was so pleasantly surprised.

Musings

I have had the easiest transition imaginable, I keep waiting for something bad to happen, but so far nothing bad has happened. On the contrary, many wonderful things have happened to me since I decided to transition. I have wonderful friends and I am not hiding in my house terrified to be seen. I am tall and slightly awkward, but I seem to be crushing it truthfully. I feel egotistical for thinking that I could actually be crushing anything. But any unbiased observer might say the same.

So when you hear about some nut who swears that trans women are invading cis women’s spaces, do try to imagine that perhaps we are not invaders. Try to imagine that we are exactly like all of the other women in the group. We want the exact same things that most of the other women want. We want to be accepted into the group, and we want to have fun hanging out with other women.

Most of the shouting about trans women invading cis women’s spaces is coming from a very tiny minority. I continue to meet women of all backgrounds who accept me as one of the girls. Nothing more nothing less.

Go forth and slay!

Love, Kitty