I’m Single and according to Voodoo, I’m Going to Die Alone
A Single Woman’s Case against a Voodoo Doll “Curse” to Die Alone
On the evening of November 1, 2019, a tall, long-legged woman walked casually to the front doorsteps of my house and laid out a voodoo doll and all its accompanying parts on the stoop. She did this swiftly and precisely. Clearly, she had rehearsed her technique in advance. I don’t know the woman who came to my house to leave the doll, but I strongly suspect she was the unfortunate pawn of sad schemers who do know me.
Yes, the voodoo doll was meant for me. My first and last names circled the doll’s neck in white block beads. It was also yet another incident in a years-long stalking campaign against me.
The doll came with premeditated trinkets. Playing cards — Jacks, Queens, the two of spades, or whatever — were placed carefully above the doll’s head and at its feet in a particular order. Then, olive oil was poured in three thin circles around the entire spectacle. No doubt, the cards and oil contained dark messages decipherable only by witches and demons.
Sewn and attached to the doll’s sides, more white block beads spelled out specific “curses” on me: “CANCER,” “DIE ALONE,” “VIRUS” (Did the doll’s creators foresee the COVID-19 pandemic?!).
I have something to say about “DIE ALONE.”
The “Die alone” “curse” — which I use in quotations because curses are hocus-pocus, in my view — is motivated by a misguided assumption: single women will die alone while those in relationships will evade this fate.
I’m a single 44-year-old woman with no offspring and the doll’s creators meant to wish this continued “curse” on me. The individuals who decided on it must believe that dying alone is something to be feared. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have included this “curse” among the others.
We All Risk Dying Alone
A life partner, children, parents, siblings, etc. doesn’t shield us from dying alone. Families fall apart all the time; they’ve been falling apart for centuries. Just read Greek and Roman tragedies and you’ll see how fallible families really are. Nobody’s family is immune to this brutal reality, and we can’t control which relatives will be with us at death’s door or how lonely we’ll be when we’re there. The voodoo doll makers may know this. Nevertheless, they cling to their supernatural beliefs out of desperate fear.
Death is asynchronous. Our life partners may be with us in old age, but if they die six months before we do, we’re the unfortunate souls who are left to die alone. I think death was meant to be a lonely human act. In our final breaths, we go towards its imminence by ourselves no matter how many people surround us.
To the voodoo doll makers, I’d argue that your prospects of dying alone are greater than mine. Maybe you’re dying a little inside every day or you died inside years ago. Your choice to wish harm upon others using controlling and intimidating tactics points to a life bereft of love — especially love of self. If there are people in your life who love you, you still harbour deep hatred for yourselves. No matter who is by your side, you’re probably going to be unbearably alone at your death.
Misconceptions about the Future of Single Women
The world is rife with misconceptions and the one that follows me most is that a single woman is threatening, inferior, inadequate, and unfulfilled. The “DIE ALONE” “curse” is proof of its persistence in my life.
In 21st century Canada, the future of the single woman isn’t as bleak as the doll’s makers believe. Not only are single women in Canada in good company — 8.43 million in 2019 — but they’re showing strong resourcefulness and adaptability to a world where single-person households have grown more than any other living arrangement in Canada in the last 35 years.
And promising single women less lonely paths towards death’s door, a Facebook group called “Senior Ladies Living Together” was started in Toronto for senior women who can’t afford to live alone and who want to combat loneliness. It has grown to nearly 2,000 members since it was created in February 2019.
As a 44-year-old woman, these statistics are positive signs for my dignified and fulfilling death, contrary to what the voodoo doll makers wish for me. I’d love to share these statistics with the doll’s creators, but as pseudo-intellectuals, they wouldn’t understand them, I’m afraid.
What the voodoo doll makers understand is fear: they’re generally scared of everything and specifically fearful of being and dying alone. Their “curses” are, in fact, reflections of their fears. The only way they can manage them is by poking holes in the life and character of a single woman who minds her own business.
Today, the belief that single women should die alone is ignorant, outdated, and timewasting for a society trying to make strides in humanity. Anybody who believes that single women are curse-worthy members of society is a narrow-minded human being living in an insular world with self-limiting ideas.
I’d Rather Die Alone Than Die with You
Because “DIE ALONE” was a targeted threat towards me — a single woman — I’ve made an educated assumption that the people behind the voodoo doll have romantic partners. Their “curse” wouldn’t make sense otherwise. This voodoo doll is a power move based on what its makers believe they know about me and have over me. Even if they were in unsatisfying relationships, its makers would still think they were in a better position than I am, according to their criteria.
The beauty of my single status originates in choice: I’m choosing to be single. I enjoy the fruits and freedom of this status, and I happily prepare for and embrace the outcomes of my choice.
If being in a relationship means living alongside malignant partners who build voodoo dolls to intimidate single women, I choose a single status. Every. Single. Time.
If being in a relationship comes down to the choice between dying alone or dying alongside the cowards behind the voodoo doll on my front door stoop, I choose to die alone. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time.
