“I’m good” Is The Response We Use To Betray Ourselves Every Single Day

The new mindset I’ve adopted has improved my mental health

Do you ever feel like you have to pretend? Do you feel disgusted at yourself when you lie to someone?

“I’m good” is the excuse we use when we don’t want to be judged for how we honestly feel.

Society has become a sanitized, politically correct, and self-absorbed place that is hostile to the real shit

Once, I tried to be more vulnerable to one of my partners.

When we were together, I often fell into pits of sadness. I believed that if I expressed how I felt, we could have a deeper connection.

Instead, she told me that I shouldn’t feel sad. That completely invalidated me.

All of us should be able to accept and be accepted for how we feel. Most of the time we can’t help it.

Do you think I just wanted to be sad all of the time?

When you express your genuine feelings, authenticity shields you from projection. Some people don’t like it when you prevent them from projecting on you. This is when they’ll try to invalidate your experience.

We live in a narcissistic society in which everything today is about “me”. If I tell someone what’s going on they very well might get triggered because they can’t even conceptualize the idea of acknowledging their feelings.

So we’ve come to the point where we can only accept the “good” emotions. Any deviation from that is frowned upon.

Life is often cold, miserable, hostile, and not good for living beings. Let’s stop pretending that it’s pleasant. Most of us are not okay on the inside. We’re in pain from past experiences but we continue with life as if it never happened.

When someone asks how you are, they don’t want to hear the real answer. They just want confirmation of their own false beliefs.

Don’t you want to be fucking real? Aren’t you tired of casting aside the real you to put on a façade?

This is one of the reasons many relationships fail. We project, judge, criticize, or ignore our partners because we’re too focused on our problems. We don’t put our problems out there. We hide them and pretend they don’t exist.

I developed a list of 8 relationship red flags that you can use to avoid partners that will invalidate your experience.

Start catching people pleasers before they worm their way into your life

Have you ever noticed the slight inflection upwards when a person speaks?

That’s the tell-tale sign of a people pleaser. They act nice even when they wish they didn’t have to be.

They think they’ve conquered their emotional state by going after external rewards:

Friends
Designer Clothing
A big house
An attractive partner

What else do people do to put on a front? They chase success, meaningless activities, or material possessions.

On the inside, these people still have demons that they’re trying to cope with. They believe that it’s wrong to acknowledge the darkness.

Their thinking: If you accept the dark aspects of yourself, then you’ll manifest more of it.

Coping with all of that garbage isn’t helping. What makes anyone think more coping will work? We’ve got to try something different.

I’m angry with society and its narcissistic bullshit. It’s not okay to pretend to be okay.

Have you ever heard this before?:

“Well, it could be worse. Think of all of the other people who have bigger problems.”

That’s a big fat excuse.

None of us will ever be able to truly live the life of another person. It’s great to be more empathetic and understanding of someone else’s troubles.

However, all you have is your own experience.

It doesn’t matter what other people are doing. Why is it that we tell ourselves not to compare where we at from someone else, but then we’ll turn around and say that kind of garbage?

If you don’t feel anything other than okay, people are going to try to make you think you should be happy.

They might just accuse you of overreacting if they can’t get you to feel bad about someone else.

The unorthodox method I’m using to reclaim some of my authenticity

If you ask how I am, I will tell you what’s actually on my mind. So be fucking prepared.

I stopped obsessing about what someone had to say. For all I know, I could be the only consciousness in this universe and everything else is a fabrication. That means their opinion isn’t important.

It sounds wrong but it’s the one trick I have found that works. I keep in mind that most people don’t have a clue what’s going on in their heads, and most of their judgments are based mostly on their insecurities.

To be frank, there’s a bit of narcissism in this approach. I know I said we’re too narcissistic these days, but there’s a difference between closing yourself off entirely and letting go of someone else’s judgments.

In my weekly newsletter, I discuss changes you can make to be more authentic.

You have to realize that your perspective is priority #1.

If someone has a problem with how you think and feel, then that’s a problem for them to resolve.

It’s pointless to waste mental bandwidth worrying about whether your thoughts or feelings are good enough. Of course, if you come out of left field with your thoughts or feelings expect someone to be confused.

You should strive to be authentic, but that’s useless if you’re not relatable.

Start telling people the truth if you feel disgusted with yourself

Next time, if someone asks “How are you?”, tell them the truth. They wanted to know right?

The other person might be stunned at your honesty. That’s the point. It’s time for society to wake up from this state of sleepwalking we’ve put ourselves in.

I challenge you to stop sucking up to people so much.

You don’t have to be nice for the sake of being nice just to win people over. It’s not right.

Don’t trick people into liking you unless you plan to maintain the façade.

The worst that someone could do is judge you. Everyone already judges anyway, so what’s the use of pretending?