I'm Going Back to the Service Industry

I thought I was done with non-slip shoes, but I bought new pair last week

A few weeks ago my first office job abruptly ended. I was caught off guard with a mouthful of goldfish on a random Thursday afternoon.

After the shock of my unemployment wore off, I updated my resume — then refused to send it out.

Sure, I have a Bachelor’s degree, and I did two internships during undergrad, but does that matter? I thought an internship would make me employable, but there is still so much I don’t know.

In the service industry, my guests are straightforward. I know if they want their steak well-done or if they’re in a rush, but when I worked in an office, my bosses often left me guessing what they wanted from me.

It didn’t matter how many questions I asked to get the procedure right. Most of the time, it was faster for the senior staff to do it themselves, and there wasn’t time to waste consulting the handbook.

I served tables through college. My black, non-slip shoes had holes in the soles, but I refused to buy a new pair. I wouldn't serve long enough to justify the expense.

So after graduation, I threw away my nasty old sneakers, but I bought another pair of non-slip shoes last week.

I'm going back to the service industry.

I'm Not Moving Backwards

I’m one of those odd college graduates who never changed their major.

If employers asked me why I thought family law was a viable career option, I told them I wanted to be the advocate I needed during my pre-teen years during my parents' divorce.

But suddenly, I started asking myself if there was another way to be an advocate — a less expensive way.

What is a Career?

This is the first time that a job is only a job to me. Working in the service industry allows me to pay my rent and write in my spare time. I don't have to prove that my attention isn't divided because everyone's attention is divided. It's part of the job.

And the unfortunate reality is that I'm only a few years away from starting a family. Men don't always think about what having a family will do to their careers, but I have to think about it. I don't want to choose between being a dedicated employee and watching my future child's first steps.

But what if I didn't have to choose? What if I could build a career where I work remotely and make my own hours? We could still be a dual-income family but without daycare expenses.

A median salary isn't worth missing a trip to Vegas with my grandmother or editing my blogs because they contradict the company's social media strategy.

My Dream Died

Even though a legal career isn't the dream I thought it was, a part of me still wanted it. I'm mourning the loss of the wrong dream. I know it was wrong for me, but that doesn't make the loss of an old dream sting any less.

Growing up, careers seemed so black and white. I thought people failed to accomplish their goals because they weren't working hard enough. If people were fired, I thought they did something unprofessional or criminal.

Until it happened to me.

I know there are a lot of different considerations that go into an employment decision, and I may never know them all. But how much did my performance play into the firm’s decision to let me go?

I don't want to know. It would hurt too much.

I decided against applying to law school because rigid work environments reveal my ADHD deficits. I don't like to think of myself as deficient, but keeping names and dates straight in my head takes more effort than it should. The worst part is that employers can assume I'm careless, but I care more than they could know.

I thought I was the only one struggling with a diagnosis that prevented me from keeping my dream job until I read The Tortured Soul of a Wannabe Pilot by Jeff Peirish. Jeff writes about how two different medical conditions have impacted his goal of being a pilot, and while he might overcome them, I decided I didn't want to fight that hard for my dream when I could find something I also loved that wouldn't burn me out.

If I'm being honest, I looked down on my co-workers in the service industry because I thought they were settling. Now, I know how wrong I was because I'm the burnt-out, post-graduate among a staff of bright-eyed students, and I'm not settling.

Bring Your Authentic Self to Work

I went back to the service industry because I needed a flexible schedule to finish my novel and complete graduate school applications. Still, my decision to return to the service industry was about more than flexibility.

I wanted to bring my authentic self to work. During training, my manager told me that the restaurant would give us the menu, but we would bring our personalities and connect with our guests using our individual quirks and interests.

I connected with my first table because they showed me an election map and asked me what shape I saw on the map. I said, "It looks like a chicken," which apparently was the right answer. I knew it was an election map because I majored in Political Science. I told them about my dead dream and my resurrected childhood dream of writing a novel. That table left me a $20 tip on a $50 check.

I won't be carrying trays forever. It's only a temporary gig, but I could have chosen a lot of other temporary gigs, especially at a time when so many people seem to be leaving the restaurant business.

But I lace up my non-slip shoes every afternoon because the service industry gives me the freedom to be myself — election maps and all.

The free food doesn’t hurt either.

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