Summary

The author is experiencing difficulty writing due to disrupted sleep patterns, emotional challenges, and a strong focus on maintaining physical fitness in anticipation of returning home from deployment, while also navigating complex feelings for a woman back home who is now in a relationship.

Abstract

The author, a deployed military personnel, expresses a recent struggle with writing, which they attribute to a disrupted sleep schedule affecting their creativity and productivity. Despite having drafts ready, there is concern about maintaining the quality of their work for their audience. Emotional turmoil, stemming from a changed relationship with a significant woman in their life, further complicates their state of mind. Amidst these challenges, the author remains committed to their fitness routine, determined to return home in peak condition. They acknowledge the necessity of addressing their emotional well-being and sleep patterns to regain their writing flow. The author is optimistic about the future, looking forward to resuming a normal life at home and reflecting on the growth experienced during this period.

Opinions

The author values the quality of their writing and the impact it has on their audience, aiming to provide value in every article.
They recognize the importance of proper sleep for maintaining motivation and creativity, likening its absence to a significant downturn.
The author is emotionally invested in a relationship back home, which is affecting their mental state, leading to considerations of distancing themselves to regain emotional stability.
Physical fitness is a priority for the author, particularly as they prepare for their homecoming, and they take pride in the progress they've made despite deployment challenges.
They see the current period of adjustment as a temporary phase, anticipating a return to their enthusiastic and authentic writing style.
The author reflects on the discipline and lessons learned from their daily writing practice and military service, expressing excitement about future personal and professional growth.

I’m Finding It Hard To Write

Proper sleep, emotional connections, and adequate exercise.

The best feeling is being able to write without overthinking anything. Typically, my writing comes extremely easy, especially when I’m passionate about what I write about.

Ever since my sleep schedule got jacked up, I have struggled to find my “flow” and get into the creative headspace I need to be able to write.

I still have drafts queued up in my unpublished stories section, but I fear that I might fall out of touch with the quality.

Writing quality articles is very important to me because my audience deserves my best work. I value people’s time and want them to leave feeling better than they came — more confident, informed, heck, even inspired.

It comes down to getting good sleep.

Since I’m so close to coming home, I find it hard to fall asleep at a reasonable time. Also, since I want to spend time with everyone before our deployment ride is over, I haven’t been prioritizing getting proper rest.

I’ll get about four to five hours on average compared to the six to eight that I usually need to feel at my best.

Without sleep, my motivation and levels of creativity drop like the stock market when Corona broke out.

I’m probably going to fix that soon.

I keep thinking about a girl back home.

There’s a girl who I’ve had a special connection with for a few years and long-story-short, she’s got a boyfriend now and I feel like our connection is different. She’s not making it weird, I am.

My emotions are up and down, but a lot of that has to do with being away for so long. I’ve had to adapt to several different situations on deployment and adjust to what’s going on back at home.

As long as she’s happy, then I can be at peace and be happy for her. The scenario I put myself in is that I keep talking to her even though I still have feelings rushing over me. I might have to stop talking to her to do myself a favor and feel less jealous or envious of the other guy.

I’m not a very insecure dude, but being overseas and away from familiarity, I feel more vulnerable and less comfortable (I seek discomfort). Everything will be alright, I’ll just slowly drift away from her and gain my peace of mind.

Maintaining my fitness is at the forefront of my homecoming.

As I near my trip home, I am doing my very best to stay fit. I lift weights, run, and do free-body workouts in my free time. Coming home, having gained weight is not an option for me.

I have made lots of progress and dropped ten pounds and gained a lot of muscle — particularly in my chest and biceps. I want my family to look at me like the scientists looked at Captain America when he came out of his body transformation.

Fitness doesn’t really stress me out unless I miss a few days. Well, I’ve missed a few days, but I’m getting back into the consistency which requires with good sleep and quality emotional health.

I’m Almost Home!

If you guys notice that my articles don’t sound like myself and as enthusiastic as they typically are, please do not worry. I am adapting my writing for a different type of mindset. It will be fun and I will appreciate a reflection back on this moment.

Writing at least 2,000 words every day for the past three months has given me so many teaching moments.

Biggest takeaways from my writing journey so far:

I know that focus is essential
It’s okay to say no to people
You only get out what you put in
Learn from the best to become the best

I am so excited to return home and live my own life and not the Army’s day-to-day. I love my experience with the Army, and there were tons of valuable lessons I learned throughout it, but I think I’m just exhausted.

I can’t wait to return home. I love you all and appreciate you making it to the end.