I’m ashamed that I’m a perfectionist :((
The last few years have marked a change in attitude towards perfectionism. Previously, you could usually hear from clients — “I’m a perfectionist! I want everything to be done perfectly”, “You can’t jump over the gap at 99%”, “Do everything at 101%, in a year this will give an increase of 37 times”, “You can’t be a little pregnant, the task is either done right or not” … in short, I’m a perfectionist and I’m proud of it.
Nowadays you practically don’t see this pathos; often clients say, “Yes, I’m a perfectionist, I’m trying to fight it, but it doesn’t work!”, as if they were even a little ashamed.
I think these changes are due to the fact that speeds are growing, the load is growing, and perfectionism and high speed are not compatible.
This has led people to think about how to deal with their perfectionism and come to the conclusion that it does more harm to themselves than it does to others.
For example, a client came in in a state of acute stress due to the fact that he could not cope with his work. The manager constantly receives new instructions that contradict each other, new requirements. At the same time, the client is not able to discuss the situation with the manager, because experiences severe anxiety, is sure that he must cope with everything on his own, otherwise he is not worthy of this job and will be fired.
Or another example, a client — a middle manager — complains about being overworked, gets angry at his subordinates and considers them incompetent. Therefore, he tries to do everything himself. As a result, subordinates do not learn through practice, do only the usual routine, and cannot take on more complex tasks and help. In this vicious circle, the only way out was psychosamatization.
Working with this kind of cases, I discovered not a very large number of sources of perfectionism.
Sources of perfectionism:
- Low self-esteem. Only excellent performance of a task allows you to treat yourself well.
- Fear of losing control. If I don’t plan for everything possible, everything will fall apart, there will be a disaster.
- Fear of rejection. Only those who are perfect are worthy of love and respect.