I’m an Alpha Submissive

Women like me are always a contradiction

I’m a contrarian by nature. Meaning, I’m a person that opposes and/or rejects popular opinion; going against current practice. Women like me are rare. We are the one’s that are empowered and we aren’t fearful of empowering others. We are the take charge, go against the grain, and still have the kind of heart filled with compassion and empathy.

I handle my own day to day life with a take charge attitude. I lead. I mentor. I’m vocal and stand up for what I believe to be right. Even if it ruffles a lot of feathers along the way. I’m strong. I’m confident. I know exactly who I am and what I bring to the table.

The issue is, I’m also polar opposite too. Within the confines of a secure, emotional based relationship filled with trust, I’m also very submissive. That submission isn’t something I just hand out freely. It’s earned. It’s when I know you are going to take care of me, value and respect me in positions in life that I’m willing to let you take charge of. My submission is me letting go of the control I carry within everything else I do. Don’t be confused here, it’s not easily given. It’s my fully given gift of trust with everything that I am.

I’ve lived an abusive, toxic life where others wanted to control everything about me. Being an alpha allows me to control myself and lift others out of their bad situations into stronger (usually emotionally and mentally) beings. It’s the burden my life choices have given me, that I’ve accepted as part of who I am. Some would say I’m a control freak and selfish. I’m actually not. I am independent and self protective. I’ll always pick what’s best for me before I become a doormat for anyone’s abuse.

I know some of you are asking yourselves, “Then how can you be submissive? Isn’t that just someone ruling over you in the form of abuse?”

In the wrong hands, submissiveness IS taken advantage of. Manipulators and toxic, narcassistic individuals will not respect boundaries or wishes. They will become cruel in ways that submissives are extremely vulnerable with. That’s why being a submissive requires ultimate trust with their partner. Trust that this person will take care of our needs, respect our boundaries, and understand that completely letting go under a guided hand requires a special individual.

A narcassistic individual will never be able to fulfill what a submissive needs and will ultimately attempt full life control. The same will go with any kind of toxic abuser. These relationships will end swiftly and abruptly with an alpha submissive. We know the potentials of what happens when toxicity overtakes healthy, normal communication. Most of us have probably lived in at one time or another, so we see the red flags much quicker and easier than others may.

Relationships with Alpha Submissives can either be very complex or very simple. If you aren’t a true dom, you’re going to have a very difficult time bringing out the feminine submissive side. If you aren’t an honest and truthful person, trust won’t be established. You won’t last long around an alpha submissive.

To build a relationship with an alpha submissive, you need to respect her (or him) outside of the bedroom first. Be supportive, let her (or him) support you. I know I wanted to be treated as an equal, as a partner. In the bedroom, ask questions. A true sub/dom relationship is always, always about communications on wants and needs. To bring out the true submissive side, you need to listen and take notes. Understanding that you will take charge when we allow you, with full trust, isn’t a light task. It’s actually almost clinical prior to any kind of actual interaction. After care for both needs to be openly discussed without any reservations or fears.

Alpha submissives can be found if you take the time to truly look. We are the ones handling life head on, lifting others up, and leading. All while making it look easy. Partially because that’s just who we are, but also because we’ve probably faced some bad in our lives in the past. Many will be seen as bitches, cold hearted, and intimidating. If you see them this way, keep walking because those aren’t the people for you. But, if you find them intriguing, talk to them. You’d be surprised to learn that underneath that hard exterior is a soft, feminine female (or male) just waiting to be discovered. They won’t immediately broadcast their alpha submissive, so you’re going to have to earn their trust to find out if they truly are or not.

We hide every day in plain sight. Some don’t even know what they are or why. Alpha submissives can confuse many due to the fact that they take complete charge of their lives, yet become soft and accepting of those they intimately trust. It’s confusing at times for the alpha submissive too. Especially during their early stages of sexual exploration. It took me years to understand and fully embrace myself due to this complexity.

As difficult as this is for me to openly discuss, it’s also who I am. It has taken me nearly two decades to fully understand and embrace who I am. I’ve suffered a lot of failed relationships due to this misunderstanding from public to private life. Several have taken advantage of that submissive side and then become shocked when the alpha female rears her head, demanding a different treatment.

My singular hope in sharing this is that others in the same position will learn faster than I did and learn to accept themselves as they are. I highly encourage open communication and discussion into your needs with a potential partner. From experience, I’ll warn that anything less can be extremely damaging to the alpha submissive.

Be Open Says;

Everyone can contribute to this Open Poem!