I’m Almost 40, and While I Age, Family Traditions Do Not

Flying a kite at the beach, for example

Flying a kite is timeless, and it is a family tradition. I’m almost 40, and the average life expectancy for a male in America is 78.54 years; clearly I am not timeless. We are at the beach this week, and the boys love flying their kites. The kite flying strategies are hilariously dichotomous, and I swear watching them is just as healthy as running a 10k.

I guess I’m halfway “home”, in terms of age. Any bit of healthiness is worth the time.

If I am being honest, I am probably more than halfway if you knock off a few years due to my love of buffalo wings, nacho cheese, and not running.

Large swaths of my hair are fleeing my scalp. The remaining rearguard has decided to turn gray. I suspect that this is an attempt at camouflage.

It’s not working.

The dive bomb kite

My youngest son’s kite is roughly shaped like an F-117 fighter/bomber. This is wonderfully appropriate. He eschews the time honored “Gentle Flight” school of thought in favor of the new age “Dive Bomb” sect.

He will twist his arms in a most melodious way — like a symphonic conductor — to ensure that nothing on the beach is safe. As long as something is in the range of this aerial menace (as dictated by the length of the kite string), nothing is safe.

Beach-side trash cans/recycling bins? You are cooked. Relatively low-flying seagulls are also in play. Since Youngest’s targeting is unintentional, the guy combing the beach with his metal detector might catch a kite in his noggin.

Quick aside: I’ve been going to the beach for 37 years. I’ve never seen a metal detector guy score a win.

The same can be said for the sunset shore fishers. No fish, 3+ decades. Give up.

Icarus, the kite that tried to go too high

Oldest’s strategy is far more ambitious. He will go to the ends of the Earth to ensure that he has the highest kite in sight. While I appreciate his dedication to the craft, his only real competition is his brother, whose kite just took out a vacant lifeguard stand. This is a crazy year, and we are keeping away from other people.

So, while Youngest is trying to fish his kite out of a sand dune, Oldest has turned his eyes towards getting his kite higher than our condo. Perspective is a funny thing, and from the sand it can look like the kite could easily sail over the building. But it can’t. It’d lodge itself in a third floor balcony, possibly taking out a wine cooler or two.

My wife is a math teacher, and could probably explain the situation using some witchcraft called trigonometry.

We just give him the win.

Health benefits

On it goes — flying a kite is tremendous fun. Especially when it is time to reel the kite in for the night. Those last several yards are very unpredictable, as chaotic air flows wreak havoc on the kite pilot.

It also has the benefit of not making my knees ache. That’s a win.

While on vacation, we also play in the ocean. We go for family walks, and toss the football around. These things do make me ache in places I didn’t ache a decade ago. It is all worth it — seeing their joy when we are all out there as a family.

Maybe that benefit will outweigh the whole buffalo wing thing.