I’m Afraid My Neighbor is Going to Call the Cops

Summary

A parent is concerned that their neighbor might call the police due to the constant screaming and fighting between their two challenging children, one of whom has ADHD and mild Autism, despite their best efforts to manage the situation.

Abstract

The author of the article is a parent of two young boys, aged 4 and 6, who exhibit frequent and intense screaming and fighting, largely due to one child's ADHD and mild Autism. Living in a row house with shared walls, the parent is acutely aware that the noise levels can be disturbing to the neighbors. Despite their efforts to follow parenting advice and their professional background in education, the parents struggle to maintain a peaceful environment. The parent fears that the relentless noise might be misinterpreted by a new neighbor as a sign of child abuse, although they assure that no such abuse occurs. The situation is mentally and physically exhausting, and the parent feels that they are barely keeping afloat amidst the chaos.

Opinions

The parent acknowledges the challenging behavior of their children and is actively seeking solutions.
They express a concern for their children's well-being and deny any form of abuse.
The parent is worried about the perception of their family life by neighbors, particularly the new neighbor.
They feel that the intensity of the situation is at an "emergency" level and is mentally draining.
The parent believes that following "good parenting advice" is difficult under the current stressful circumstances.
Despite the challenges, the parent seems to be trying to maintain a sense of humor about the situation, as indicated by the irony in yelling to stop the screaming.

With two difficult children, the level of screaming in my home can feel unbearable.

On an average day in my home, you can hear children screaming at any point between 5:50 AM and 8:30 PM.

Unfortunately, we live in a row house with shared walls.

I was blessed with two very wonderful, very challenging sons. They are 4 and 6. One has a diagnosis of ADHD and mild Autism.

My sons fight constantly. So much so that I’ve timed how many minutes they can play together without me intervening to break up a fight. Surely enough time for me to take a few sips of my morning coffee, right?

It depends on how fast I can sip my coffee. Usually they average about 30 seconds to 1 minute without a dispute.

An occupational therapist once worked with us and confirmed that due to my sons’ needs and ages, they did not yet have the skills to be left alone without a parent helping them navigate their play. So my husband and I attempt to help them as much as possible.

But this gets utterly exhausting.

We have read all of the parenting advice we can find, and I work in education for a living. We know that yelling at your kids to stop yelling is ineffective and almost ridiculous.

Yet I know for a fact that my new neighbor must hear my husband or I scream at the top of our lungs at least once a day:

“STOP THE SCREAMING!!!”

I’m not one who worries that much about the expectations of others. I don’t care if she thinks our yard is out of control or if we don’t shovel our part of the sidewalk on time.

But my family life is in such a state of emergency that I’m actually worried she will hear our kids’ constant crying and screaming and will think we may be abusing our kids.

Of course we would never abuse our children. But we are still struggling to keep the noise level in our home to a level that doesn’t feel almost frightening to hear.

It is just so difficult to follow good parenting advice when you’re drowning.