avatarRusty Shackleford

Summary

The author expresses a strong addiction to Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Abstract

The author shares their love for Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte, expressing that they would do anything to get their hands on it. They use a humorous tone to describe their addiction, mentioning that they use their best "basic white girl" accent when ordering, buy out the grocery store's supply of pumpkin spice creamer, and listen to a playlist called "Pumpkin Spice Fall." They also mention considering starting a self-help group for people with a similar addiction.

Opinions

  • The author is extremely passionate about pumpkin spice lattes.
  • The author believes that the person who invented pumpkin spice lattes is a genius.
  • The author finds humor in their addiction and is willing to make fun of themselves for it.
  • The author is considering starting a self-help group for people with a similar addiction to pumpkin spice lattes.
  • The author uses the term "basic white girl" to describe themselves and their addiction.

I’m a Slut For Pumpkin Spice

My experience being a basic white girl every fall

Photo by kevs on Unsplash

It’s official.

Fall is in full swing here in Southern Michigan.

The leaves are turning brilliant hues of gold and orange. It’s bitter cold in the mornings and flannels have now become my clothing staple of choice.

While all of these things signal that fall has arrived, there is also one thing that makes it feel like fall for me — Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte

I’m A Slut For Pumpkin Spice

Every fall, millions of basic white girls flock to their nearest Starbucks to get a taste of the sweet nectar that is the PSL.

I fight for my space in line like a Black Friday deal, just to feed my addiction to the stuff. God help you if you get in my way.

I use my best basic white girl accent when I order to squash any doubt from the employees that I belong there.

I buy the grocery store out of Pumpkin Spice creamer, I listen to a playlist on Apple Music called “Pumpkin Spice Fall”, and I guzzle the stuff down like a money shot in a porno.

That’s right, I would blow you for even a drop of pumpkin spice.

I’m hopelessly addicted and that’s the first step to recovery.

How did I get here?

So I’m sure you’re wondering how I got to the place in my life where I’m willing to take a bukkake to the face for a half full, backwashed cup of Pumpkin Spice.

The truth is, I don’t even know.

The PSL has been a fall staple for me for as long as I can remember. A quick google search led me to the history of the PSL.

I was 11 years old when it first came out in 2003 which is why I can’t remember a time it wasn’t available.

Whoever came up with the idea of the PSL is a god and should be worshipped as such. Okay, they should at least get a bonus or something for their genius.

PSL Anonymous

Maybe I’ll start a self-help group for people like me.

I’ll call it PSL anonymous.

We can all sit in a circle sharing our stories of addiction while dawning our PSL nicotine patches.

Anyone is welcome to attend even if your basic white girl accent isn’t on point.

At the risk of sounding like a cheesy Klondike bar commercial, What would you do for a PSL?

Coffee
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Lifestyle
Blogging
Humor
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