I’m a Writer Who Supports Herself as a Sex Worker

This is why I do sex work.

I became a sex worker for three reasons:

1. I was really into sex so I decided to monetize it.
2. I needed to be earning a lot of money.
3. I liked writing more than I liked having a day job. Sex work opened my day to write.

These three reasons led me to decide that sex work was the best way for me to make ends meet.

Could I be making money another way? Yes. I am educated with a graduate degree.

Would another job keep my schedule open for writing — say a job that used that degree?

Doubtful. This is especially true because I write fiction. The sheer amount of time that I invest in my fiction writing means a day job would get in the way of that.

Could I make the money I need if I took a part-time job (so I’d at least have some free time in my day to write)?

Doubtful again. Now that I’m supporting two children on my own, it’s more necessary than ever that I bring in a certain amount of money each month.

Sex work gives me the opportunity to support my children while also having the free time to write.

Do I think other women should choose this path?

No. This path works for me in specific.

I don’t push my life choices onto other women. My choices in life don’t work for most, and in fact most women can’t understand why I do what I do.

My life is sickening to them, and seems sad. People believe I let men use me. They think I demean myself by sleeping with men for money. They believe I should get a job that uses my brain, not my body.

Sex work is not a perfect job. I can’t say that I love every aspect of it.

I’ve had other jobs, though, and I haven’t liked any of them, and I’ve also often felt disrespected.

I’ve hated having to answer to a boss. I want to be able to come and go as I please. I want to take off time when I want, but also be able to work more if I want to. And then I also want to be paid well for my work.

I’ve never found another job that gives me these things the way sex work does.

I also happen to be more open-minded than most women. I love meeting new people and I’m very sexual.

I’ve been blessed with a high libido. I often find myself feeling constantly aroused.

For years, I was fine with having casual sex with different men. It got boring though. Dating was time-consuming and expensive. When I was having sex with a man, I wasn’t working. I was also using my money to buy gas to drive to his place.

It sounds petty, but I felt more used in the dating world. Yes, I was getting pleasure from these men, but without love, the sex became tedious.

Once I had children, I no longer had the free time to be making house calls to men’s homes to blow their minds sexually for nothing in exchange.

I refused to pay a babysitter so I could go to bed with a man.

I decided instead to monetize such dates and became a sugar baby.

If I was going to have casual sex, I wanted to get paid for it.

Eventually I branched out into full-on escorting. Sex work was the perfect job for me. It enabled me to make money while having sex — two things I love.

It also enabled me to have the free time to write while still being able to pay my bills and provide for my children.

I love writing.

I’ve been writing fiction for years now, but I’ve never made a single cent from it. Instead I’ve paid to take classes and go through a writing program.

And still, it’s almost impossible to get published.

Sure, I’ve had some work published in a few journals, which felt great. But I need money to keep this up.

Fiction writing necessitates hours of hacking away at the craft. It demands you rewrite and refine your work over and over again.

I invest hours into my writing.

These are hours when I’m not making money.

So in the meantime, I need to generate income somehow.

I’ve done that through sex work.

I write about sex.

I’m grateful that my expertise as a sex worker has allowed me to write about sex.

I’m still selling sex.

Am I selling out by writing about sex though? Shouldn’t I be posting my fiction?

Sure, when my fiction pays the bills like my sex writing does.

And yet I do enjoy writing about sex. I’d prefer to write about sex than see clients in real time.

If you write about sex does that make you a sex worker?

Does writing about sex place your life in jeopardy?

Does writing about sex put you at risk of arrest?

Does writing about sex put you at risk of contracting a STD?

Does writing about sex necessitate you have sex with people for pay?

Does writing about sex necessitate you perform sexually for a man, even if it’s just on cam?

Do you talk on the phone or sext for money when you write about sex?

Okay, I think I’ve answered that question.

However romantic it might be for a woman who writes about sex to claim that she’s a sex worker, she’s not.

Writing about sex is not sex work.

Yes, when a woman writes about sex, she may find herself stigmatized by society. She may find herself ostracized by family and friends. She may find herself subjected to internet trolls.

But sex writing spares her the other risks and challenges that sex work demands of a person.

Would I rather be a writer than a sex worker?

Yes, I would rather write than go to bed with men for money.

It’s not that I hate my job. I’m grateful for the money it’s allowed me to make and the free time it’s given me.

And yet there are challenges to sex work that I’m tired of dealing with.

Though I enjoy meeting new people, I love the money, and I still find myself often aroused and raring for sex, sex work will never satisfy my mind and soul the way writing does.

But until I reach the day when I’m making as much money as a writer — even as a sex writer — then I will continue to sell my body for money.