I’m a Seer, Just Like You

I’m a seer. Just like you are. A watcher gifted with the ability to feel the electrical current of a room, the wiring of it, the black hot and the green ground. We are the people who watch people watch people. Our third eye sees the slight tilt of an eyebrow, the color of the connection, the swirls of bitterness or the calm blue of receptivity. A kaleidoscope shimming off the walls.

And after, we are like vampires needing rest in our coffins, alone and solitary and cold. Because it’s all so exhausting being around other people. But we love it.

We see the currents of a thing. Which — incidentally — is why we hated math. We sensed a deeper context just out of reach. Sure we could do it, the rote memorization. But to us, it all felt a little pointless to memorize it, because isn’t this just the last step? Why not see the full picture? Why only the last step?

Context. To you and me it’s breath. Without it, we feel like we’re floating at sea in a life raft. Who cares how to operate the raft if you don’t know which way to find land?

You’ve lost your context oldest friend. As a seer, I’m not only watching your life, I wish it were that simple. No, I’m watching you watch your life. And I am sad for you because it seems it’s become one never ending math problem, the kind you don’t quite understand and you wonder why you even have to know this shit in the first place.

I see you. In the same way you see those around you. Your eyebrow tilts downward and there’s a crease in your forehead when you look at your life these days. You perceive it happening at you like a rogue wave slamming into your raft. And you’re resentful and feeling more alone as the days pass. You’re trying so. Damn. Hard.

I see you watch your life and blame those around you. The seesaw has tilted too far away from toxic internalized shame and has tipped into the other extreme: toxic grandiosity. Everyone else is the problem. ‘Look what I have to deal with! If you could just see what I have on my hands! Nobody gets me!’

But I’m a seer. Just like you. And, yes, I do see what you have on your hands. Your life is crying for connection, for an outpouring of love and affection and presence. It wants you to recognize the beauty in it. It’s dancing before you in light, twirling and spinning and I’m watching you scowl at it. You scowl at it, tilt your head away from it and look downward.

Your life is not happening at you. It’s not adversarial to you.

From most people you can hide, yes. I know this because I can do this too. I can project quite the hologram when I want to. You can too. It’s such a tremendous projection that we sometimes feel a sense of power — maybe ‘safety’ is better — because of what we are able to withhold from others.

You’ve lost your context my oldest friend.

Power down the hologram.

Come out and stand in the summer rain with me.