Follow Me if You Dare . . .

. . . but know I may not follow back

I’m a relative newbie here, but I’ve recently noticed a strong and sustained uptrend in my number of followers.

I’m sure it’s because of my stellar writing.

Not.

It used to be if someone followed me, I’d just follow back, no questions asked, including not asking the question, “Why the hell are you following me?”

But I’m sure that as many grizzled Medium vets already know, many of these people aren’t following me because they give a fuck about me or my writing. They are following me for one reason, and one reason only — to sucker me into following them back and racking up their follower count. And they’ll never read a single damn word I write.

Now when I check out my new ‘followers’ the first red flag is that they have a gazillion followers. Do I really think they’re ever going to read a word of what I write?? The second red flag is that they write about shit I have absolutely no interest in. So why would I assume they’d have any interest in the shit I write?

I do not, and will not follow-back these collectors of followers.

They are hustlers. They are follower greedheads, interested only in accumulation of meaningless numbers.

And to my current fake followers (not that there’s a chance in hell you’re reading this) this policy is not only forward leaning. It is retroactive. I shall be purging all you depraved leeches from my follower list.

A brutal shitstorm shall rain down upon you, and you will be ELIMINATED.

[RANTUS INTERRUPTUS]

Julia Tsoi has written about this in a much more reasonable fashion . .

[RESUME RANT]

These collectors of followers are demented narcissistic degenerates, they are . . . OH HELL, I’m tired of ranting about this. You get the drift.

[END RANT]

So let’s look at something positive and uplifting, shall we?

NO. Not that pic! Sowwy about that.

So again, let’s look at some positive things about following, shall we?

I follow my legitimate followers each and every time I log onto Medium.

I read their articles. I look at their highlights (to me this is the most interesting — it helps me learn their interests). And, of course, their claps, which show their support, just as I hope my claps show my support for them.

I try get to know my followers so that we might share some space in this tumultuous world.

Of course, if my writing doesn’t suck and I gain more legitimate followers, this may become arduous and time consuming. But I’ll worry about that when and if that time comes.

Until then, have a pleasant day.

and here is why I write for ILLUMINATION and other publications . . .