Living My Best Life
I’m A Black Mama; Of Course, I Do All Those Things
Still parenting after all this time
One of the best parts of understanding the social media languages of Generation X, Generation Z, Millennials, and even Alphas is you can respond with laughter.
Lately, there have been videos on TikTok and Instagram poking fun at the things Black mothers say and do. My family has been sending me these videos because they think they accurately reflect my child-rearing actions.
They were so right. First, I sent everyone a friend link to one of my Medium stories about my own Black mama, which I wrote long before the TikTok videos came out. I found it funny they were teasing me because my behavior was learned from my mother.
I did and said all the actions listed below, and I still do.
· I am not one of your little friends. I am not playing with you. Don’t talk to me like I am. Don’t turn your back on me. Don’t frown at me. Don’t wave your hands at me. These actions are asking for it. You don’t want it. Remember who I am at all times. I am your MAMA.
· You want McDonalds? Do you have McDonald’s money? I will make you some McDonalds when we get home. It will be just like what they make.
· I brought you into this world and can take you out. Do not try me.
· Don’t run in and out of my house. No matter what time of year it is, you are letting something out of my home — either the heat or the air conditioning I pay for.
· Go outside right now. You cannot sit in front of that:
- Television
- PlayStation
- Board Game
- Radio
- Or anything else keeping you in my house.
· Be at home within 5 minutes of the streetlights coming on. DO NOT make me go looking for you.
· I don’t care where we are, when we are away from home, don’t touch nothing, don’t say nothing, don’t eat nothing. You are not hungry, thirsty, or tired unless I tell you that you are.
· Sit down, stay still, and be quiet. Period. You can tell us all about your day at dinner; otherwise, keep it to yourself.
· Do you think I’m Boo, Boo the Fool? I am not.
· Pick your things up off the floor. I am tired of seeing your stuff all over my house. Don’t make me come in there.
· Yes, I picked all the stuff off your floor and put it in a garbage bag next to the other trash. I told you to clean your room, but you did not, so you obviously did not want those things. The bag is outside. If I were you, I would get it before the sanitation workers come by.
· Who do you think you are talking to? I know you are not talking to me. You need to try again.
· Turn my lights off. You don’t pay no bills up in here. Wait until you have your own house, and you can have it shining like a lighthouse beacon, but you will turn the lights off up in here.
· You are not entitled to everything I have. I’m going to have stuff you don’t get. Go back up to your room. You are not getting any of this. Go on, now.
The best part of this entire process is hearing my children say the same things to their children. Their parenting is gentler than mine, but the same sentiment comes out at their homes that was in mine.
I tell them my curse worked because they both have children like them. The curse worked on me as my children behaved the way I did. It is very gratifying to see them interact with their kids. I sit there with my honey, not saying a word, trying not to smile. Most of the time, I keep a straight face; sometimes, I do not.
One conversation we had with our adult children was when they were frustrated with their children. They are not allowed to punch their teenagers in the face because we never punched them in the face. We then reminded them of the things they said and did to us.
One constant in the world is that Black mamas will do their best when raising their children. No matter how many jobs they have or how tired they are, the children come first. That is how is should be and how it will stay.
Toni’s struggles in university are detailed in her book Zero to Family Hero. She received her Electrical Engineering degree despite being the first to attend college. Priceless for the first person to go to college in a family. Available on Amazon.com and Kindle Unlimited.
