I’ll Never Be Offended If You Buy Me Deodorant

Actually, you’ll be my new best friend

Every year for Christmas and my birthday, which are only two weeks apart, I ask for products to please my nose.

Nothing makes me happier than to unwrap hand soap, body wash, lotion, and yes, even deodorant. Yesterday as we were heading home, I remarked that no one had bought me deodorant for Christmas. I suggested to my husband that he get me some for my birthday.

“Wouldn’t you be offended if I bought you deodorant?” he asked, which is funny since that’s what I asked for.

Why would I be offended to receive what I asked for?

“No,” I told him. “I’ll never be offended if you get me deodorant, because that means I don’t have to buy it myself.”

It makes me wonder if people think I’m joking when I say I want deodorant for Christmas and my birthday.

Guys, I’m dead serious. I’m not joking one bit.

Running out of deodorant is my worst nightmare

In my eyes, there’s nothing worse than realizing I’m completely out of deodorant. Although I’ve worked from home for the last two years, this last year in particular has been crazy. I’ve had various appointments I needed to attend for my husband, and last week I got invited to an unexpected in-person interview.

The last thing I want is to stink up the room when I walk into any of those places.

Good scents put me in a good mood

Nothing puts me in a better mood than the aroma of something beautiful. My favorite scents are floral ones — lilac, lavender, and peony are my absolute favorites. I also love essential oils like eucalyptus, tea tree, peppermint, orange, and of course, lavender.

If you couldn’t guess, lavender is my absolute favorite scent of all. And I’m blessed to be able to enjoy it in lotions and soaps, because both my mother and sister are allergic. I didn’t get to use lavender much when I was growing up because of this, so I make up for it now.

It’s such an easy, inexpensive gift to give

I’m not asking for expensive deodorants. You can buy me a cheap roll of Suave — Suave is in my top three deodorant brands (which make up Suave, Secret, and Native).

I won’t bother linking to the Amazon affiliate links, because everyone knows these products are cheaper at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, or the Dollar Store, and I’m not going to manipulate you into spending more than you should.

Although I have developed an appreciation for Native this year. Their ingredients are all-natural, and every product I’ve used smells amazing.

I recommend buying Native products directly from their website for the best deals. Use my referral link to get 20% off your next purchase. Best of all, you only have to spend $10 to get free shipping, unlike other brands that try to make you spend $50.

I’ll never be offended

Trust me, I will never be offended because you bought me something that smells good. I’ll love you forever because smelling good helps me focus. It helps me do my best work.

Are you telling me that you were offended all the times I bought you deodorant? Oops, sorry. I thought everyone loved smelling as good as I do.

Though I know sadly that’s not the case, because I dated a guy once who thought he didn’t need deodorant. I dumped him instead of sticking it out to the holidays to buy him some.

Everyone needs deodorant

Every male and female over the age of 12 needs deodorant. Some 8-year-olds even need it — that’s when I started wearing deodorant.

Don’t be ashamed of your B.O., guys. Having body odor is proof you’re human and not a robot.

It’s perfectly okay to stink. What’s not okay is to be in denial that you stink. Wear your deodorant, and all will be right in the world.

There’s nothing worse (or more embarrassing) than running out of deodorant. Having easy, fast access to deodorant is as important as having access to clean drinking water.

I can never have enough deodorant. I need one for my purse, my bedside, my office, and each of my three bathrooms. Do you see why I’m always in need of deodorant?

If someone buys you deodorant, don’t be offended. Express gratitude. Be joyful. What other gift could be more useful? You’ll use it every day and think of the kind friend or family member who gave it to you.

Isn’t deodorant an awesome gift?

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