Ike called Dwight, “ French Fry Head”

I laughed out loud at pro bowl linebacker turned radio talk show host, Ike Reese, when he referred to Dwight Howard’s hair.

Biblically speaking long hair meant strength. What’s today’s athlete’s excuse?

Photo by Author of “French Fry Head.”

Upon reflection, there might have been two reason I wrote this article.

1. I had red hair until about the age of 50 when it turned a strawberry gray, then fell off my head. As a child, many people referred to me by my hair color.

2. The creepiest thing I ever saw was my grandfather’s mourning hair wreath proudly displayed on his living room wall. I had to bear witness when the family visited him frequently during the summer.

I was drawn to the odd looking morbid Christmas wreath. It scared yet fascinating me.

When I was around 7 years old my curiosity overcame my fright. I asked my mother what the strange circular object in the impressive frame could be?

Unfortunately, in as gentle a way as possible she told me.

I believe her explanation gave me a mild form of PTSD the effects of which I’m still dealing.

“Brian, she said, that’s a wreath, just like a Christmas wreath — you know how much you love Christmas.”

“Only this wreath is a little different.Instead woven out of pine branches, it’s made out of hair,” she said in a gentle unthreatening voice.

“Cat hair, Mommy, like when Smokey (my beloved pet cat) sheds?” I questioned.

“A little, Brian, she said, “the hair that makes this wreath is from Granddad Dickens’ relatives.”

“Did they let Dad Dickens take their hair?” I asked naively.

“No, dear, they were dead, this wreath is called a ‘mourning wreath’.”

Yehhhhhhhhhhhhhha!

For better or worse, hair has always been an issue with me. Perhaps I attach too much importance to it.

Hair and Sports:

I’ve always been involved in sports; playing ‘em as a youth and young man, coaching them as a dad, watching when I lost the energy to play or coach.

As a senior, although I find it enervating to sit on my couch eating pizza snd drinking beer for a 3 hour football game. I manage to do it because I’m a real sports fan.

However, I’m finding the final outcome of the games that I’m viewing, the games that I’ve picked in the various pools in which I’ve entered, the numerous fantasy teams I’m on secondary to a recent development.

Evaluating the competing athletes’ hairstyles.

Photo by author

To me, growing up in the crewcut, clean shaven 50’s.

Ok, the 60’s was the era of sideburns, the 70’s the hair Afro’d bushed and longer. Beards in the 20's.

Those were the days that athletes wanted to fit in with teammates.

But never in my wildest imagination could I ever envision today’s wild creativity.

The athletes, both men and women, are setting new records and, unless it’s my age, seem to be bigger, stronger and faster..

However, they appear do be doing everything in their power to be as bizarre appearing as possible. Especially with unique creative hair “coiffures!”

It’s as if the current college and professional competitors want the fans to make hair contact before eye contact.

Todays athletes seem to want to stand out rather than fit in. Less teamwork and more individualism.

Showtime at the circus.

I’ve made up my mind to sit back and watch these superbly coordinated athletes and their inevitable fashion show.

Whenever I want to go traditional, I’ll turn on the Tampa Bay Bucs and watch Tom Brady whoop all their asses.

This story was selfpublished 1/8/22