IG Highlights — Trueblurbs

Blurbing has a long and interesting history, we suppose, I mean, we haven’t researched it or anything, but we suspect it wouldn’t put us to sleep — especially considering the amounts of coffee we consume.

Anyhow human beings blurb, and believe you me, we are human beings, if you met us in the street we we could come up to you, swaying slightly in the breeze as if we were just puppets stuffed with straw and the long thin and black bristly limbs would creep out from under our scraggly hair and high stiff collars and manipulate our mouths into smiling and then the not at all scary empty tones of our voices would say “hello, fellow human, imagine meeting you here!” After which we would probably blurb at you, like we recently blurbed to our hearts delights on Twitter, but these were the very special genus of #trueblurb

What is a Trueblurb

A trueblurb tells you what the work is truly about, which in the age of the publicist is not the general purpose of a blurb. A blurb is used to sell, a trueblurb enlightens. But because the trueblurb so goes against the general marketing purpose of most blurbs it seems strange, fantastical, a mysterious creature battening on the — no, wait, I got away from myself there a — heh heh — second.

A trueblurb when you first hear it might not even sound like it could be about what it is about but after a second you think it must be about that, it could only be about that. A true blurb reveals its truth by and by.

Following are some good True blurbs Illuminati Ganga Agents 31, 77, and 48 have made, if you like them please consider making your own.

Yeah, so recently I was in the park and my autistic son ran on some guys jacket that he had laid on the ground and I said sorry he’s autistic and the guy said I don’t care and then whined about his jacket that wasn’t anything special to look at, I’m just saying Elvis maybe comes off as a primadonna here, but find yourself one of those bald Danes in the biker gangs if you want to hear someone really bitch and moan about some trivial shit.

Yeah, cause Superman is a Dick!

Ok, look maybe you don’t like it but if you have ever seen BlackBooks (and if you haven’t why haven’t you!?) , but if you have you know this is the most accurate thing ever written by someone who was not divinely inspired at the time. One time I was drunk and I opened up a notebook and I wrote the words gloruwh ugpu in the middle of the book in my own saliva and that wasn’t even half as accurate as the trueblurb of Black Books.(yes this time I made a space, it’s because I’m not sure which one is right)

And last but not least, a real Illuminati Ganga classic is mentioned

ok that’s good enough now I think, now my challenge to you — Write 10 true blurbs about your favorite media productions, they can be books, poems, songs, movies, nasty songs of sailors, what have you. But they must be true.

#trueblurbs

This article gathers relevant tweets from the Illuminati Ganga twitter account originally tweeted by Illuminati Ganga Agents 31, 77, and 48.