Summary

The article humorously outlines exaggerated strategies for achieving financial success, suggesting that making $100k and reaching financial freedom is straightforward if one follows unconventional and satirical advice.

Abstract

The article "How To Make $100k And Reach Financial Freedom" presents a satirical take on the typical side hustle advice, claiming that the author's insights are superior and inspired by friendships with successful entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and Gary Vaynerchuk. It recommends learning to type at an impossible speed of 450 words per minute, watching YouTube videos at 5x speed, and befriending millionaires for advice, all of which are presented as easily achievable goals. The author, Matt, humorously suggests that these methods, which are clearly impractical, have been instrumental in building his own side hustle empire. The article concludes by reminding readers that it is a joke and should not be taken as serious advice.

Opinions

The author mockingly implies that typical side hustle advice is inferior to the strategies he proposes.
There is a satirical suggestion that networking with famous entrepreneurs is a common and easily accessible path to success.
The article pokes fun at the idea of self-help and productivity hacks by presenting absurdly high benchmarks for typing speed and video consumption rates.
It humorously exaggerates the importance of living in luxury real estate to network with millionaires.
The author uses hyperbole to critique the unrealistic expectations set by some business and self-help gurus.
The article's disclaimer emphasizes that the advice given is not to be taken seriously and is intended for entertainment.

Humor

How To Make $100k And Reach Financial Freedom

Making lots of money is easier than you think

You’ve probably read lots of articles that provide tips on building a side hustle. But chances are, they weren’t anywhere near as good as this article that you’re about to read.

Let me explain why.

Other writers will tell you to read lots of books, network with famous entrepreneurs, and work until the early hours of the morning. However, they often forget to mention that all of their side hustle advice was inspired by me.

Many people don’t know that I’m best friends with Elon Musk and Gary Vaynerchuk. Every week, we meet up for a coffee to discuss business, productivity, and the economy. Also, if you look up “success” in the dictionary, you’ll see a selfie of us in Starbucks.

If you haven’t already guessed, my daily habits are a breeding ground for success. So, if you want to build a $100,000+ per month side hustle empire (like me), here are several things you can do:

Learn How To Type Faster Than Everyone Else

Why? If you’re able to get 5x more work done in the same amount of time, you’ll be a walking, talking, productivity machine.

I’ve increased my typing speed to 450 words per minute. That means I can write a 100k word novel in less than four hours. For context, that’s several hundred pages worth of content.

Watch YouTube Videos At 5x Speed

YouTube is a great website for learning new things. But if you want to build a financially lucrative side hustle empire in 2022, you probably don’t have time to watch tutorials and Q&As at normal speed.

Consider increasing your playback speed to 5x so you can finish an hour-long interview with Jeff Bezos in approximately 12 minutes. Although the audio speed is ridiculously fast, the bragging rights of saying you can watch 24 hours’ worth of content in less than a day are wonderful.

Make Friends With A Millionaire And Ask Them For Advice

Because everyone has access to a network of wealthy people, right?

If you live in a luxury penthouse (like me), pop to another apartment and knock on the door. Chances are, someone with a net worth over a million dollars will ask what the heck you’re doing on their property.

Respond by saying that you admire their work ethic and want to be more like them. Trust me — anyone with a net worth over a million dollars will happily answer any questions about starting a business as long as you tickle their ego.

For those of you who don’t live in a luxury penthouse or gated community, that’s okay. Now is a great time to buy some real estate.

If you want to build a side hustle empire in 2022, consider implementing the above strategies to work more efficiently. They did wonders for my life. Hopefully, they will do the same for you, too.

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Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered business, financial or legal advice.