If You’re a Tourist in Scandinavia, Don’t Do These 6 Things

Nopety nope

As a non-native living in the United States, I’ve appreciated all the tips and tricks I received when I moved overseas.

Make sure to tip when dining out, don’t lash out on how you’re actually doing when someone asks “how are you”, don’t talk politics unless you’re up for risking offending someone. You’ll feel rushed in restaurants, but it’s not because of you. They just want to clear the table and seat the next group, asap.

The small things.

Scandinavians have a few of those, too.

Don’t bring cash

We haven’t used it in forever.

Or worse, checks! I’ve never seen one until moving to the United States.

Use a normal card, not your Amex or a credit card. Some places only accept debit cards. If you bring a debit card, you’re good to go.

On the extreme side of people not very fond of cash in Scandinavia is the CEO of a hair cuttery chain in Norway who, in a recent article managed to say to the press that he’d rather go to jail than implement cash as a payment option for customers. Jeez.

Never, ever drink and drive

I’m not talking pints of beer here.

To stay on the safe side, don’t drink a sip of anything alcoholic and drive. Not only is it illegal (which it should be anywhere), but you will also get a huge fine if the police stop you.

In Denmark, the average fine for drinking and driving is 43487 kroner, which with the current exchange rate converts to 5677 dollars.

The average.

Norway and Sweden have the same legal limit, don’t drive with over 0,02% blood alcohol concentration. Denmark has 0,05%.

Sweden has the lowest rate of drunk driving in Europe. I think part of it comes down to a collective attitude. There is no, “I just had one beer”, “It’s fine, I can handle it” or, “It’s a quick drive home”.

If you have consumed alcohol in any shape or form, you don’t drive.

Period.

Don’t trash the monarchy

We like our king and queen.

The Scandinavian countries are all constitutional monarchies with a king or queen whose role as head of state is mostly symbolic. The photo above is the Norwegian royal family visiting a food festival focusing on local, seasonal produce and sustainability. I covered the event for a local newspaper, and seeing how down-to-earth and approachable the royal family were, made me appreciate them even more.

You may be against the monarchy, but your vacation in Scandinavia is not the time to bring it up. The Kingdom of Denmark is one of the oldest monarchies in the world. The first royal house of Denmark was established in the 10th century by a Viking king called Gorm the Old, and today the Danish monarch HRH Queen Margrethe II is a descendant of the old Viking king. The Swedish Monarchy is more than 1000 years old. King Harald Haarfagre initiated the Kingdom of Norway in the 9th century.

It’s a long-standing thing, our monarchy, and the majority of people living in Scandinavia appreciate it.

Don’t brag

If there is anything we can’t stand, it’s Americans bragging about themselves, or their country. We just don’t need to hear how amazing it is.

Bragging itself is a real turnoff-move in Scandinavia.

It might stem from the fact that we don’t think very highly of ourselves. Many of us lack healthy confidence, due to an unspoken “law” known as Janteloven. Back in 1933, the Danish author Aksel Sandemose published a novel where these words were published:

• You’re not to think you are anything special
• You’re not to think you are as good as we are
• You’re not to think you are smarter than we are
• You’re not to convince yourself that you are better than we are
• You’re not to think you know more than we do
• You’re not to think you are more important than we are
• You’re not to think you are good at anything
• You’re not to laugh at us
• You’re not to think anyone cares about you
• You’re not to think you can teach us anything

Worse than locals bragging are people from the U-S and A doing it.

Don’t come too close

We did six feet apart long before the pandemic.

We like our personal space and always have.

Politico has a funny example highlighting how Swedes like to keep a remarkably wide interpersonal distance: You know the “my space, your space” scene in “Dirty Dancing?” Place Baby and Johnny in opposite corners of the room.

That’s our preference.

Social distancing in Scandinavia applies to all aspects of everyday life. Waiting on the bus, in line at the grocery store, on the beach, at the mall, shopping. Six feet apart, if more, all the better.

Don’t complain about the cost

If you’re a tourist in Scandinavia, hopefully you already know it’s not a cheap place to vacation. Don’t complain about the $12 beer, $18 burger, or $80 cab ride. We know it’s not cheap, we don’t like it either, but we don’t need to hear it from a tourist who chose to spend some of their precious vacation time here.

Have fun, and don’t complain!

There are plenty of activities you can do in Scandinavia that doesn’t cost a cent. Go on a hike in the gorgeous nature, visit a beach, stroll the quaint city streets. Enjoy the quietness, the peace, and just be.

That’s good for the soul.

We’re talking about three countries here, so feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt. However, should you ask any Scandinavian, I am fairly certain they will recognize themselves in some (if not all) paragraphs.