Writing
If You Want to Succeed in Writing, Stop Writing About Yourself
The most successful writers don’t write about themselves
What’s the biggest mistake you think new writers make? I’ve been asked this question quite a few times. And over the years, I’ve helped quite a few new writers get started. Dozens of people with hopes and dreams of churning out magical words into an assembled opus; then sitting back in their comfortable chairs, cracking their knuckles, and relaxing as they watch the slow trickle of readers suddenly burst forth through the levies, transforming into massive waves of thousands of pairs of eyeballs glued to their screens.
We all dream of this experience. We close our eyes and try to imagine it happening to us. Even in the fantasies of our minds, it starts to make us feel a bit like we’re winning the lottery.
Everyone wants to be successful. But everyone wants to do it on their own terms.
This epiphany dawned on me as I watched other writers struggle. They’d turn out piece after piece talking about their lives. They’d express their deepest feelings about life, they’d confess their darkest secrets and their fears. They’d expose themselves to a whole new world of vulnerability.
And then they’d fall flat on their faces.
The readership wouldn’t come. The eyeballs they’d expected never gave their articles a first glance, let alone a second. They were stuck in the purgatory of low views.
Their hopes were then dashed.
They felt cheated. They felt like they didn’t get their due share. They felt like they were owed readers and the deal they’d made with themselves reneged.
They publish a few pieces and then throw in the towel.
Nobody Owes You an Audience
This epiphany taught me a lot about the different motivations that people have when they go into a project. Our motivations for doing something are always important. It can mean the difference between taking the right path or the wrong path to your destination.
It also taught me one of the first rules of writing success: nobody owes you an audience.
Today, media is cheap and easy to produce. Anyone can produce professional-grade articles on a smartphone if they have the talent. Information is everywhere we turn. There’s even an experience called “information overload” where we overload our brains by surrounding ourselves with too much information.
A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.
This has created what’s called “the attention economy,” a structure whereby there’s an incalculable amount of information in the world and various “bottlenecks” through which the information reaches consumers.
It’s a war of all-against-all, where video platforms, music companies, social media platforms, and writers are all competing for the same sets of eyes and ears. And most of us can only be on one or maybe two platforms at any given time. So we rely on tech and shortcuts to find what’s valuable.
Think about it. Twitter almost certainly distracts more people away from your writing than it directs them to your writing. There’s too much information in the world and the most interesting stuff to the consumer is going to win.
Most of us don’t think of Twitter as our competition, but it is.
As the economist and psychologist who coined the term, Herbert A. Simon, says, “A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”
What’s Your Motivation for Writing?
Remember when I said our motivations for doing something are always important? Whenever someone inquires about starting up a career in writing, my very first question to them is always, “What are your goals?”
I always get a blank stare. But I ask for a reason.
If their goal is to be successful in terms of readership and money, I’ll instruct them to take one course of action. If their goals are self-expression, I’ll suggest another.
Few people know this distinction exists for the same reason few people have an answer to my question about their goals. Because they haven’t really thought through what’s most important to them. They think successful writing is just as easy as telling your story and waiting for readers, but success often asks us to shift course and meet the readers where they are.
So, ask yourself…
If forced to choose between self-expression and success, which would you choose?
Writing About Yourself is the Fast-Track to Failure
While there are some very rare notable exceptions to this rule, the exception proves the rule: most people who write about only themselves are on a fast-track to failure.
I hate to say it, but it’s true.
I remember when I was young, long before the rise of social media, people would always joke that they should write a book about their lives and the crazy experiences they’ve been through. Those experiences seemed so unique back then.
But today, we have an internet that pumps crazy into our feeds 24–7. Just this week, we’ve had two mass shootings in the United States alone. The former president tried to overthrow the American government. There’s a COVID-19 pandemic still going on. Our stories blend in when we hope they’ll stand out.
And we don’t really think of this all as our competition, but it is.
Remember, it’s always easier to write about things that people are already interested in than it is to write about yourself and hope they find you interesting.
And in the age of search engines and social media, it pays to be writing about the topics people are already looking for. Twitter trends are your friend.
Google Trends is a huge help, as you can see the top searches on Google at any given time. It’s a great source of ideas for professional writers wanting to chime in on a topic people are actively seeking to learn about.
When Self-Expression and Success Diverge
When asked to choose between self-expression and success, most people answer that they’re just going to do both! And the long list of people who’ve failed at writing before my very eyes stands as a testament to the fact that this path doesn’t work.
More often than not, at some point in your career, self-expression and your path to success will diverge. This is the point where your ability to talk about other things becomes the most crucial tool in your toolbox.
It’s a competitive world out there. And truly professional writers are capable of writing about a diverse array of topics, not limiting themselves to the story literally anyone can tell — their own.
When asked, “What’s the biggest mistake new writers make,” my answer is always, “Writing about themselves and expecting everyone to drop everything and pay attention to them.”
Stick With the Winners
Stop and think about the great writers you follow. What do they usually write about? Are they telling you every banal thing that happened to them? Hardly.
Great writers come prepared with facts and pie charts, with science and research, with incredible stories about things they’ve seen (that aren’t them).
And the ones who do talk about themselves, only do it in such a way as to present valuable information to their readers.
Reading and sticking with the winners has proven incredibly helpful to a lot of writers out there. Successful writers are successful for a reason. And while everyone has their own unique style, they share more commonalities than differences.
People like Tim Denning and Sean Kernan talk about themselves all the time, but only insofar as it furthers a narrative about something else of value to their readers. Both are two of the kings of incorporating useful facts into their articles as takeaways.
Speaking of takeaways, let’s lay out a few from this piece and see what’s there:
- Writing is hard. A few people will “make it” while most will quit just as quickly as they began.
- The competition for attention is fierce. You have to be better than other writers in order to get people to pay attention to you, and you have to be better than other entertainment outlets in the attention economy.
- All things being equal, people want information that’s valuable to them rather than a great story that has no value in their lives.
- Find out what your motivation is. If you just want to impress your friends, that’s fine, but don’t expect success. If you want success, professionalism is going to be a necessary component of your strategy.
- If you want to become more professional, seek out the professional writers who are already successful and observe the commonalities that lead to their success.
- Don’t expect everyone to drop everything and rush to your stories about yourself. It’s easier to write about things people are already interested in than it is to write about yourself and hope people will find you interesting.
While this might strike you as ultra pessimistic, it could be the kind of consciousness shift you needed to catapult you off to the success of your dreams. It might be the difference between disappointment and the kind of success you’ve dreamed of, so it’s worth a shot to try and master.
Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this story, you may enjoy the one below as well. Feel free to follow me on Twitter or subscribe to my newsletter here. Or if you’re feeling really generous, you can buy me a coffee at Ko-Fi here.