If you want to find the right person
Love yourself first
Do not let society pressure you into a relationship before you are ready to be with someone.
Nowadays, being single seems to have become stigmatized so much that people prefer to be in a relationship that makes them miserable rather than taking the time to work on themselves and then, take the time to find the right person.
In the end, they only make themselves and the other person unhappy.
By putting all your expectations on your partner to make you happy and fulfilled, you are setting up yourself for disappointment and dooming the relationship for failure.
The best of relationships are when two people come together to create more, not one where each expects the other to make their relationship exciting.
“You claim that you love somebody, but if they don’t fulfill your needs, you don’t love them. I don’t call this love. I call this mutual benefit scheme.” — Sadghuru
Love someone for their own sake, not because you’re expecting something from them. That means you have matured enough to know that you don’t anything from them because you are able to provide that for yourself.
Love is wonderful, but love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship in the long-term.
As Sadghuru said, love happens within you, but the relationship happens outside of you. It needs to be managed and nurtured each day.
However, to be able to do that, you need, first, to learn how to manage and take care of yourself. Take your own happiness into your own hands so you are able to share it with others.
To find the right person for you, you need to first become that person. If you want somebody that is ambitious and joyful, you need to embody those traits, too.
Become the partner you want to be with by developing all the qualities you want your partner to have. Be the right person for the kind of person you want to attract in your life.
Become a loving person who knows that they can be loved in the right way to fall in love truly.
Do not seek love because of a lack of love in your life, because if you have not learned to love yourself yet, you will not be able to love someone else the right way.
The reason why divorce rates are so high is that people have become selfish and entitled. They are unwilling to improve, expecting the other person to become better. They are blinded to their own faults but are constantly criticizing their partners for not making them happy.
They are convinced that they deserve the best without willing to work for it, failing to understand that relationships need to be managed and worked on.
To learn how to be happy, you need to realize that you need to take accountability for your desires.
If you still have not learned to work on yourself, how will you be able to maintain something as complicated as a relationship?
Do you have the level of understanding, compassion, respect that are needed to build a strong relationship? You need maturity to be with a partner.
Make sure to know why you want to be in a relationship.
If it’s only out of boredom or to feel valued, it is a sign you are not ready to be with someone as the responsibility to make your life interesting and to feel valuable falls upon you only.
Do not fall in love with the idea of being in a relationship before you’re ready to be in a relationship.
“The idea of marriage is to multiply joy. If you multiply your miseries, it’s a crime.” — Sadghuru
Don’t let society’s expectations pressure you into settling in a relationship that is not fit for you. The person might be wonderful, but ill-fitted for you.
People fear being single so much that they are willing to compromise on their values and beliefs just to be with someone, even if they know deep down that they are not a good match.
You are whole on your own. Don’t let being in a relationship or being single define your worth. You deserve to be happy whether you’re in a relationship or not, but you need to work on your happiness. Constantly.
When you decide to enter into a relationship with someone, let them be complimentary to you, but don’t forget your own self. Maintain separate identities to be happy and make the relationship last.
Get into a relationship because you know that you are ready to be with someone else and contribute to your lives together.
A lot of people say they are scared of being lonely, but being in a relationship won’t protect you from feeling lonely because being in a relationship with the wrong person can leave you to feel even lonelier and more depressed than being by yourself and thriving.
When you accept yourself and you start to value yourself, you will realize that you will no longer need to have someone in your life as a stamp of approval of your worth.
Become the love you want to receive by learning to love yourself first.