Summary

To change one's identity, one must first alter their actions, as these actions will shape their narrative and solidify their new identity.

Abstract

The concept presented is that personal identity as a writer, artist, or musician is not solely granted by self-identification or external validation, but through consistent and purposeful action. Identity begins with a decision to see oneself in a new role and is cemented through actions that reflect this chosen identity. This process is exemplified by Alicia Keys' immediate connection to music, which she pursued with vigor, confirming her identity as a musician. The article emphasizes that our actions are a reflection of our self-perception, and by consciously choosing our actions, we can reshape our identity. It also acknowledges that identity is multifaceted and includes aspects beyond our control, yet we have the agency to highlight certain aspects and take control of our narrative through our actions.

Opinions

Identity is a combination of self-perception and action; merely declaring an identity without action is insufficient.
Consistent action reinforces and confirms one's identity, while sporadic action does not establish a true identity.
The actions one attaches to the most will define their identity, both to themselves and to others.
A person's narrative can be reshaped by their actions, effectively allowing them to become someone they initially did not see themselves as.
Identity is complex and includes many factors, some of which are beyond our control, but we can choose which aspects to emphasize and act upon.
The process of identity formation is ongoing, requiring continuous action and self-reflection to maintain and evolve one's identity.
Taking deliberate actions is key to changing one's story and becoming the person one aspires to be.

If You Want To Change Your Story, Change Your Actions First

And if you want to change your actions, change your story first.

“If you want to change your story, change your actions first. When we choose to act a certain way, our mind can’t help but rework our narrative to make those actions become coherent. We become what we do.” ~ Seth Godin, via MoveMe Quotes

At what point does a writer become a writer? Or an artist become an artist? Or a musician become a musician? Does identity as a writer/artist/musician happen based on an arbitrary decision or as a result of accumulated action?

In other words, if I identify as a writer—does that make me one? Can an identity magically befall upon a person at their request? Or is identifying as a writer something that happens only after a certain amount has been written?

The interesting answer to this question is that, as far as I can tell, it’s a mixture of both.

You have to identify as being what you want to become and you also have to do the work to confirm that identity. Calling myself a musician without any experience in music wouldn’t be a declaration of identity—it would be a false claim. On the other hand, if I truly saw myself as a musician, then I’m much more likely to act in ways that would later confirm that belief.

One of the best ways to follow through with a series of new actions is to see yourself as a person who does those actions, first.

For Alicia Keys, identifying as a musician happened instantaneously. She describes there being no courtship phase, no period of becoming acquainted with the piano; rather, just a connection that was instantaneous—one that was as comfortable and familiar to her as breathing.

At that point in time, maybe nobody else identified her as a musician since this happened before she created any music. But, once she saw herself as a musician — playing music became the inevitable byproduct. It was with that self-proclaimed identity that she was able to so generously and vigorously reveal to the rest of her world that she was, indeed, a musician.

I had a similar experience. I remember seeing a sign for a new Martial Arts School when I was a kid and being instantly drawn to it. In fact, I was so excited that I still remember the date of my first class: April 11, 2001—and that was when I was only 11 years old. I could see myself being a Martial Artist way before I was ever considered one by others.

Identity starts with a decision and is later confirmed by actions.

Once the decision is made, whether consciously or unconsciously, it’s inevitable that the actions will follow. This is because we mostly act in accordance to how we see ourselves. If we see ourselves as being someone who is shy, then we will act in ways that confirm shyness. If we see ourselves as being a loner, then we will act in ways that loners would. If we see ourselves as being brave, then we will act in ways that show bravery.

If, however, our decisions are wishy-washy and only act on them once in a blue moon — then eventually our actions will confirm that we aren’t, in fact, that identity. This is true for “runners” who don’t run; “musicians” who don’t play; and “writers” who don’t write. The occasional act towards an identity doesn’t confirm the identity—it confirms the opposite.

Whatever identifying factors we attach most of our action to is what will get confirmed — both by others and ourselves.

It’s important to point out that identity is multi-facetted. We are never just a musician or just a martial artist. We are multi-passionate; constantly changing and exploring; and of a certain race, culture, city, neighborhood, belief system, principle set, socio-economic class, educational background, etc. Our identity is a melting pot containing innumerable ingredients.

This mixture of ingredients make up the foundation of who we are. Much of what goes into the foundation of that pot isn’t up to us—they are identifying factors that are beyond our control. But, once we learn how to start formulating our own identity we can choose which of those ingredients to highlight, which ingredients to add, and which ingredients to dilute.

This is how we take control of the story—the melting pot—of our lives: by taking control of our actions.

Actions are the crucible that shape identity.

Or, as Seth says above, we become what we do.

The bottom line is this: actions shape identity and identity shape actions. The key is to pick a place to start and to start. For some this means paying more attention to how they see themselves and doing some careful introspective work or visualization. For others, this means taking action first and faking it until they make it.

For as Seth states so eloquently above, when we choose to act a certain way, our mind can’t help but rework our narrative to make those actions become coherent. In other words, it is possible to trick our own minds into becoming someone that we couldn’t initially see ourselves becoming—with enough action.

Ask yourself: what actions am I taking and what identities are they confirming? If there ever comes a time when you no longer want to be associated with a certain identity or when you want to start being associated with a new one, the fundamental focus should always be on action adjustments.

And how much action is enough action? I think the better question to ask yourself (regularly) is, how do I want to continue investing my actions? Because taking action doesn’t ever stop. Everything we do contributes to our identity and all of our self-beliefs are going to continue contributing to our actions.

When we understand this, we understand the importance and power of each action, each step, and each moment we are granted—where we literally get to decide who we get to be in this life.