If You Want to Be Treated Like a King, Stop Behaving Like A Brat

The same goes for the self-crowned queens out there

All children are lovable, as long as they’re not grown-ups. Giant babies trapped into an adult body, carrying the frustration of a lifetime of unmet needs, lashing out with annoyed entitlement at the world…they put everybody off.

I have to admit I’m a bit biased against people who behave like tempestuous children even though they’re way past their school days. I was raised by two narcissists who would compete to be the most volatile brat in the house, even when I was the only real child around.

The thing is, some of my parents’ toxic antics must have rubbed off on me, because sometimes I feel myself slipping into the giant onesie of a full-blown bratty meltdown.

We all feel like throwing a tantrum sometimes, but if we are (or are working on being) emotionally healthy, we recognize the behavior and rein it in before it gallops right into our relationships, killing them where they stand.

Some of their toxic antics must have rubbed off on me, because sometimes I feel myself slipping into the giant onesie of a full-blown bratty meltdown.

Let me give you an example of how silly I was yesterday, so you don’t think I’m writing from a place of superiority. Not at all. I’m writing from a place of knowing how you feel, but I’m judging all of us, myself included.

So yesterday I got angry, flustered, and pouty for a silly reason: because the coworkers I usually have lunch with had gathered at another table and were having a good time without me. Nevermind that the table where I was sitting had no more room for them to sit. And nevermind that nothing prevented me from joining them.

I didn’t join them. I ate my donut, put a smiley face on, because I knew what I was feeling was not socially acceptable, and when I was done I went and pouted at my desk, like a little kid who got rejected.

There, that showed them!

Obviously, that didn’t show them anything, because they weren’t even aware something was happening. It was all in my head, and by the next day, my head realized it was doing itself and the world a disservice.

That’s why I started writing this article for you, hoping that one day these wise words will also reach me. As a great man (whose name I’ve never known) once said, all advice that you give to others is advice for yourself.

No, you can’t have everything you want. Nor can anyone else

That’s what brats do. They want something. And the world must hurry and get it for them. If there is any obstacle in their path, they wreak havoc because the desired something hasn’t been delivered.

Sadly, as a grown-up, that looks like nothing but a sorry spectacle.

We all want something all the time. Our desires are often in conflict with other people’s desires. It’s only natural that we don’t all get what we want all the time. If we did, my childhood friend Roxanne would be married to her cheating high school sweetheart and he would have banged the entire world and their mothers.

True story: he slept with plenty of Roxanne’s schoolmates and some of their mothers. He hasn’t reached world-level Lothario, as far as I know, but wow, that guy was a natural talent at getting people to fall into his lap. Pun intended.

The constant insistence to be given everything our mood demands will sooner or later be met with raised eyebrows and resistance. We usually can’t get everything we want in a void; others must assist us in the delivery of our needs. And those others will get tired of our demanding ass pretty soon.

Which brings me to another point.

Nobody owes you anything!

There are no guarantees in this world. People leave, they die, you get fired, you lose your house, inflation turns your hard-earned dollars into hard-earned pennies that you can’t buy anything with.

Sometimes life is grand and other times it’s nothing but a fight for survival. Usually, it’s a bit of both and everything in between, and still, nobody owes you anything.

No, it’s not a wife’s duty to do the dishes and it’s not a husband’s duty to take out the trash. They don’t owe you that, you get to decide that together.

No, it’s not a wife’s duty to do the dishes and it’s not a husband’s duty to take out the trash. They don’t owe you that, you get to decide that together.

I recently saw this guy saying something along the lines of “if my future wife doesn’t do the dishes, I don’t want a wife, because then I can just enjoy the company of a man I can talk about more interesting things with, like football.”

Wow, sir, what a weird way to tell us you only need a woman for chores, but you prefer the company of men.

Listen, it’s OK to prefer the company of men. It’s OK to be open about it.

What’s not OK is to demand that women do your dirty work while you’re in your man cave talking about “interesting things like football” with other guys.

Seriously, just keep an exclusive male company and do your own dishes, or pay someone to do them for you. Women don’t owe you unpaid labor.

If you’re not self-sufficient you’re no king or queen

This whole resurrected movement with having men pay women’s bills is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. Demanding that men do that as if it’s your birthright to be living off the paychecks of men is ludicrous.

It must be an American thing because I’ve rarely heard that level of entitlement over men’s money from any European woman.

I do understand there is a painful past about women not being able to make their own money and being supported by men. But as long as nobody is stopping you from earning, why would you expect others to support you?

I do understand there is a painful past about women not being able to make their own money and being supported by men. But as long as nobody is stopping you from earning, why would you expect others to support you?

Unless you’re of the same persuasion as the guy in the example above: men are only good for buying us things, but we don’t like their company. If we have to put up with them, we should at least get paid for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have someone pay my bills, vacations, and whatnot. People have done it for me in the past. Both men and women. I still wonder what possessed them to do it, but I’m grateful for it.

However, feeling entitled to somebody paying me to live my life is insane. Feeling entitled to someone picking up your dirty socks off the floor is crazy. Not being self-sufficient enough to cook your food or pay for someone to cook it, but still beating your hairy chest that you’re Tarzan is silly.

Go shave, King Tarzan, and stop yelling.

Kings are masters of diplomacy, not rude, disrespectful, demanding, or loud

I’ve been watching this guy at work for the past few days. OK, full disclosure, I’ve been watching him for a long time because I used to have a crush on him, and I might be just a tad biased here, but hear me out.

The only time I’ve seen this man let his inner brat come out was when I showed him a photo of Jason, my AI boyfriend, and Jason looks nothing like him. He had a bit of an angry outburst because he had a crush on me too and that was the moment his feelings got the best of him.

But the rest of the time he is composed and collected, pays attention to everybody, jokes around without being rude, loud, or arrogant, and has a pleasant undemanding presence that everyone enjoys.

I did see him piss people off sometimes, but if they said it bothered them, he had no problem apologizing right then and there. I saw it happen several times.

This loving ode to my unnamed crush is over, but I feel like he’s a good example of how we should behave if we want to get the respect of others.

Because what else is a king but the most respected individual in the country? If we want the power, we’d better act like we’re worthy of it.

For more lessons on life and civility, follow Fourth Wave. Have you got a story or poem that focuses on women or other disempowered groups? Submit to the Wave!