If You Want Real Freedom, You Need Structure, Discipline, and Commitment

There are two kinds of freedom. Choose wisely.

Freedom isn’t what most people think it is.

They assume that to be free, you have to be able to do what you want, exactly how, where, and when you want it. While this sounds reasonable and tempting, life doesn’t work that way — I’ve tried.

For a year, I hitchhiked through Australia so I was free to go where buses and trains didn’t. I broke up with my girlfriend so I could hook up with other girls, didn’t commit to weekend plans in case a better party turned up, and chose university courses I could work through on my own schedule.

In the eyes of most people, I was free as a bird. I could fly around as I pleased — yet, I was stuck in a cage. And so are you.

What You Perceive as Freedom Is Nothing but a Distraction

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but one that completely changes your view once you’ve digested it.

You’re free to choose from a ton of Netflix shows streamed straight into your living room. However, this distracts you from choosing to not spend your time in front of a TV but rather talking to people who matter to you.

You’re free to use a bunch of dating apps to meet singles ready to mingle. However, this distracts you from choosing to build a relationship with a special someone instead.

Choosing between a myriad of pleasures doesn’t make you free. Real freedom comes from structure, discipline, and commitment.

Structure Is the Framework in Which Real Freedom Exists

All my workdays follow a certain structure. From 7 am to 7 pm, I run like a Swiss watch, going through morning routines, work blocks, exercise, and lunch breaks. Tik, Tok, ding!

Such a structured life doesn’t sound like a lot of freedom. You can’t call it a day and go for ice cream or sexy time with your girlfriend when you wish. Yet, this very structure allows me to run my own business — and enjoy all the real freedom that comes with it.

I can do my own thing, am my own boss, and make my own decisions. None of it would be possible without the structure. To me, these perks are worth infinitely more than the fake freedom of sleeping in or skipping a workout because I don’t feel like it.

Structure provides the necessary frame and support for real freedom.

• When you create an investment plan, you become financially free, without worrying about being broke or how you’ll pay for your next vacation.
• When you structure your workday, you get things done faster and have more free time which you’re free to spend as you wish.
• When you stick to routines, they become pillars you can build the rest of your life on and move it forward. You become free to achieve your goals and reach your dreams.

Even a bird has to flap its wings in a certain pattern in order to fly.

Structure is the first pillar of real freedom.

Without Discipline, Your Frame Breaks

Every morning at 4:30, right after waking up, Jocko Willink tweets a photo of his watch. If you woke me that early, I wouldn’t even remember my name.

Most of us don’t want to wake at that time. To us, this isn’t freedom — it’s pain. But that’s not the point. The point is to be disciplined enough to stick to your structure, whether it means getting up at 4:30 or 9:00.

The most sophisticated plan in the world is worth less than the paper you drew it on if you can’t stick to it.

I’d love to be able to tell you otherwise. It would be great if there was some secret way around it. But ultimately, it always comes down to doing the work — and obtaining real freedom is no exception.

When you wake up before everyone else, you’re free to work on what matters to you without distractions.

When you stick to your diet and exercise, you’re free to feel good in your body with your shirt off and live a long, healthy life.

When you restrict your spending, you’re free to retire early or work fewer hours so you’ve got more time for people around you.

If you can’t control yourself, you’ll always be controlled by your desires.

Discipline is the second pillar of real freedom.

Commitment Lets You Choose Between the Two Types of Experiences

There are two types of experience. You need both.

When I first started dating women, I quickly racked up a bunch of fun memories. A kiss here, a date there, some horizontal tango in the bedroom, and a few naked yoga sessions in the back of a car. Tasting the buffet gives you a broad experience, but it’s only one side of the story.

After my wild years, I’ve consciously committed to making my current relationship my last one — and this commitment unlocked a whole new level of freedom and depth of experience.

I’m free to enjoy trust, love, and connection instead of worrying if this is it. I’m free to make big plans you can only achieve with a partner in crime. I’m free from thoughts about dating other women. I’m free to be me and be loved for it.

This concept doesn’t just apply to relationships — it also holds for everything else in life.

Life is an endless series of opportunities and options. Behind every door waits something new — a life abroad, a steep climb up the corporate ladder, or settling with a family. You’re free to choose any of them — but not all.

“If you keep all the doors open, you’ll spend your life in the hallway.”

— German proverb

Peeking through lots of doors is important. You need to find out what life has to offer. But at one point, you’ll have to walk through one of the doors so you’re free to explore what’s behind it.

Commitment is the third pillar of real freedom.

Mastering The Art Of Freedom

Real freedom isn’t what most people think it is.

Real freedom doesn’t come from choosing your pleasures, but from choosing your commitments and sacrifices without being lured or forced into one.

The path to fake freedom is paved with temptations, laziness, and the fear of missing out. Real freedom comes from mastering the art of structure, discipline, and commitment.

Now, ask yourself:

Do I want a counterfeit or the real deal?

I help ambitious men find direction, create an authentic vision for a fulfilled life, and take actions to achieve their dreams. Sign up for my free 5-minute newsletter and become part of the Authentic Men Tribe!