If You Want Abundance, You’re Going to Have to Get Weird
You don’t realize how deep lack goes
“If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.”
Greg McKeown — you crazy for this one. Lack mindset is 90% of what keeps us from where we want to go. But 90% of my lack thoughts go unnoticed.
To change your life, notice your lack.
While I’m reading a book on my couch, my body slips into stress and worry. Will I get the things I want? Am I successful enough for my age? I can’t remember the entire last page I read… That paragraph about that one really successful guy from Google triggered me. I start doing my age vs. his success mind-math. God…
The good news is that I caught myself. From here, I can make a change.
If I take a cold, hard look — I have a lot of lack in my life around the places where I expect lack — and a lot of abundance around places where I expect abundance.
It’s not magic.
Limiting Beliefs Make a Ton of Sense
Why do we have limiting beliefs? Because they are super rational.
Look, buddy — you’ve tried this shit before, and it didn’t work out. Who knows if we’ll survive your next “experiment” (your brain still thinks it’s paleolithic times, and you’re likely to die from a splinter). Let’s chill in the cave, huh?
I don’t have to convince you that your own lack mindsets are convincing. That’s all they do all day in your head — convince you. Convince you to worry about money, make comparisons to people on Insta, and self-sabotage all your big plans.
Trying to change this state feels like leaving a room and forgetting your keys. What if I need something in there?
Here’s a fact: you can solve your problems even better from an abundant mindset. Don’t believe me? Try it a few times and compare the results to when you solve from the lack mindset (I’m sure you can guess the results).
First things first, we gotta nod at lack mentality — yep, that’s a pretty convincing argument. It’s truly amazing that anyone gets anything done. With that in mind, let’s get some things done anyway.
How do you change your mindset from lack to abundance? Brace yourself — It’s going to feel super weird.
Get Weird
Normal for me was to fester about my failure 60% of my waking hours. To change that, things are going to have to get a little weird.
That means things are going to feel “off” for a bit. Like a tennis player who’s developed a bad habit, you’re going to have to “unlearn” your awkward swing. For a while, it’s going to go against your instincts.
We like to think the devil we know is better than the devil we don’t. But the truth is we have to keep meeting devils until we find the better angels of our nature.
That means slowing down, raising your awareness, and catching yourself in lack. Try again from a growth mindset. It’s OK if it’s slow and deliberate at first. Don’t think this is how you are going to be forever.
I recently caught myself in lack. On the phone, I was accusing her (romantic interest) of not telling me something “wrong.” My instincts told me something was off — I trusted them. Eventually, I realized that they were coming from lack and fear. I said, “Sorry — I think this whole conversation is coming from self-sabotage on my part. Can we move on?” She was like, “Sure!” and the conversation got a lot better.
It felt like an awkward-as-hell tennis swing, but I knew I couldn’t trust my instincts at that moment. I had to get weird.
Notice Abundance and Re-Create It
We all have spots in our lives where things are abundant. My physical health, for example, always feels abundant. I reinforce that belief by always feeling good when I think about my health. In return, my doctor visits are always a bunch of impressed sounds from people in white coats. I swear, I will my blood pressure to be exactly 120/80.
What does this feedback loop feel like? Can you re-create it in other areas of your life? How would you go about that?
Here are the steps:
- Notice your mind in lack
- Consciously redirect to what you know abundance should feel like
- Accept awkwardness in stride
- Expect mostly failure, frame it as learning
- Repeat constantly
- Eventually hit abundance gold
It’s Not Magic
Sometimes I believe in a little magic — just for fun. When I feel good, good things come to me like gravity. Could be magic as far as I’m concerned.
You don’t have to believe in magic for this to work. You can believe in the countless micro-expressions, pheromones, and word choices that are influenced by your growth mindset (or lack thereof). People pick up on these signals (on whatever level) and respond accordingly. Your habitual mindset determines your entire life.
The point is — you can’t manage these millions of factors consciously. Good luck trying to fake your pheromones and micro-expressions. You have to actually change the way you think and feel for the world to change the way it responds to you. If you have less than you want in your life, it’s because you’re unconsciously projecting lack outward — even if you don’t notice it.
The first step is to notice it. The second step is to make halting, awkward changes to how you feel — not how you act to cover up the way you feel. That’s just more lack.
Relentless Housekeeping
With all this in mind, why would you let one single lack-thought chill in your skull?
If I ask myself this, I can’t think of one good reason. Sure, it feels like I need to think them (just one more minute)— but everything works out better for me when I spend less time thinking them. Why let one thought slip by me if I can help it?
Sometimes you can’t help it — sure. But when you can, be relentless. We don’t think “can’t” thoughts in this head, bucko.
At first, it’s going to feel awkward. Eventually, you’ll forget you’re even doing it.
When you habituate abundance, the world bends to your new expectations. Believe it.
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